The wrong father

[Gettingbysomehow]

This is theoretical because I never received maintenance of any kind from either of my "fathers".
My mother had two boyfriends, didn't know which one was the father. Both decided they didn't want to be dads and left. This was a long time ago.
Mother decided it must be father 2 as she had only had sex with father 1 once.
She was wrong.
I did a DNA test many years later and it was in fact father 1.
If the wrong father paid maintenance for me and then found out he wasn't the dad years later could he legally claim all that money back?
Can I claim any money from my actual father's estate? He died recently apparently.

Claiming off his estate might seem a bit "grabby" using a mumsnet term but he had a good life while my mother and I lived in poverty because he wasn't involved. He never knew I existed, but then he should have used a condom if he didn't want to be responsible for a child shouldn't he?

How did you do the DNA test on your biological father?

Did he know your mother was pregnant? I thought he did from your post but at the end you say he never knew you/a child existed.
If you never met how did you manage to get a DNA test to confirm he was your father? Or did the test just rule out the second possibility?
I dont know what the legalities are where you are re a child inheiriting but it will be an expensive process so you would want to be very certain you are his child and that your portion of the estate would be worth the expense and drama of it all if he has family.

Whom you believed your father wont really have a claim to recoup maintenance payments as youre now an adult therefore he stopped paying long time ago? He can only claim from when the issue arose that he wasn't your dad, but you were adult then?. Your mum could be required to pay it back.

Biological dad..You have got a claim on inheritance if you can prove he was your dad..however does he have a will?

Presumably she did one with number 2 and it wasn’t him?

He's dead, so I presume a blood would need to be tracked down and be willing to be DNA tested in the event some stranger turns up just after your dad died to claim a part of your inheritance!

Maybe get some legal advice as to whether you can make a claim on his estate.

You don't actually even know this man was your father, just your mums word that it was only these two. You say he didn't know you existed but you also claim that both decided not to be dad's and left, so which is it?

Even if he knew about you, 50% chance of parentage would not have me committing financially to being a father, I'd want proof. Your mother obviously didn't seek to provide it and seemingly didn't really need to as other man paid instead.

I don't think you have any right to his estate whatsoever to be honest, and I think it's a pretty vile way of looking at things. I'm sorry this has been your life but I don't think you should be marching in to upset the family of a man you've stated didn't even know you existed.

If he were alive, then fair enough, contact him. But he isn't. It's over.

Re the maintenance that was paid, no I do not believe he can claim that back. He accepted parental responsibility without proof, foolish but not something he can now claim for.

Again though, you say the dead father was rich whilst you and your mum suffered, but you WERE being supported elsewhere so this isn't entirely accurate.

Sorry OP, but I don't think you should be acting on this financially.

That doesn't mean #1 is the father

What does his will say?

I realise that @ZekeZeke but based on the info she has then it’s a reasonable assumption for her.

I am guessing it depends on whether there is a will and what it says.
With no will and if you can prove you were his child you might have a claim.
Will that says split between children without naming there might also be a claim.

I've been thinking about this since I posted earlier. You mention you did DNA some time ago so have "known" this other man is your father since, but are only bothered to do something now you think you have a claim to inheritance? This is wrong OP. If you had no interest in his life, then don't go grabbing at his money in death.

I’d personally leave that man and his estate to rest in peace. He doesn’t owe you anything your mum did/does. She’s the one that didn’t own up to her behaviour and lied to you and didn’t do the appropriate things to provide you with the right dad. You shouldn’t take any of the money if there is any. This is on your mother and it’s no one’s fault you lived in poverty

I have just read your responses. Leave the man alone. Don’t go digging and trying to claim money that isn’t rightfully yours. Neither of you were part of each other’s lives. It’s your mothers problem if she wanted support and to gain from his estate she should’ve done a dna long long time ago. Yes you are coming across as grabbu and vile. Money grabbing is disgusting and even worse when the party your trying to claim from is dead. I’d be furious if I was his family who’d been around and been allowed to be around since day one of some daughter no one knew excised cause of the mum came in and took money that isn’t rightfully hers away from me and my family who were there. You don’t know if he’s got grandchildren or something planned for it. You really have made my skin crawl. You deserve nothing because of your mums actions. She should have made more effort to find who was your dad and provide choices and chances for them to be part of your life

He decided not to be a part of your life did he at some point know he was your father and still not want anything to do with you?

I dont think your grabby actually I think its the least they owe you after neglecting you as a child dna has been around for years as have blood tests as the adult it was his responsibility not yours

It sounds harsh but your mum is the one who chose not to claim maintenance, depending on how long 'a long time ago' was. If she had, perhaps Dad2 would have taken a paternity test and it would have been clear many years ago who your father wasn't.

The way your OP is worded it sounds like you took the DNA test some time ago, rather than recently, so why did you never get in touch with Dad1 then?

You do sound grabby, like you're only interested now he's dead and there's a possibility of some cash coming your way.

If she's on a database and either Dad1 or his relations are on there too and she links to them genetically, then he likely is.

If OP can only say it's not Dad2, then it could be anyone really!

Whether you would have / would have had a claim on his estate depends on whether he left a will, and if not whether he had a spouse or civil partner and the estate was over £270k (I think) . Alternatively if he was in Scotland or France or other place where offspring are automatically entitled.

You would need conclusive DNA evidence in any case. Not ‘it wasn’t the other one that Mum named’.

I can understand you going through all the ‘what ifs’ in your mind, and to be feeling adrift, and sorry it has all turned out so inconclusively.

If your bio father had no spouse at the time of his death you would inherit everything if he has no other children or an equal share if he does, as long as you have proof.

. He never knew I existed, but then he should have used a condom if he didn't want to be responsible for a child shouldn't he?

True, but then did your Mum tell him about you? Pursue him for maintenance? He couldn’t provide what he wasn’t asked for.

Do you know why dna wasn't done when you were young (no idea how old you were)? Was it because your mother didn't want it?

Is it 100% sure it's him?

You need legal advice regarding his estate. Different places have different rules.

Doesn't mean it was 1 then

Are you wanting to claim on the will to repay the bloke who wrongly provided for you?

None of them did any providing.