Need some support please

[Sunnyside91]

Hi All,

I am here just seeking some support, advice if any of you have been here before.

I am on the cusp of separation from my husband of ten years. Lots happened during the marriage but worst of all I found out he had been hiring escorts during this time, as well as a weed addiction. I found out about his sex habits after I ended our relationship but he was still living with us. He refused to move out and was pretending to be a doting dad and husband. Then I found out for definite he had been seeing escorts during this separation and it was horrifying what I discovered. Him and his friend had an entire FB chat sharing different girls, rating how good they were ect. Long story short he is due to move out tomorrow to his own place and to be really honest and I feel pathetic in saying this, I am feeling scared of life alone without any support. I know I have to keep going and deserve so much better but he's done such a great job of tearing me down and making me feel like this was all my fault. Anyone had a similar experience, and can give some reassurance? Thank you for reading. X

Sorry you have been through this. I think its natural for life without a partner to seem overwhelming and scary at first, even if you know its the right thing. Just remember you are strong and it will be worth it in the long run. Mediation, exercise etc can all help. Also its a fresh start which can become quite exciting after a while.

Hi 😀
I have just moved out of the marital home and renting a small house with my 2 girls. I feel the same as you, I’m scared if I’m going to manage financially and I’m wondering if it was the right thing to do (I know it is but I have days where I miss my ex husband, I feel guilty for the kids we couldn’t make it. However I have to say that for the last 2 days since Moving in to my new place I also have a new sense of calm and peace in my mind. Sorry to ramble, just wanted to say hang on in there - there will be good days and bad days but you will get through them x

Well done for taking the step to do this. I’m so proud of you - it’s not easy. Keeping going in this direction and your future self will thank you for it.
The only support I can really give is by sharing the resources I used to get through so I hope these might be able to help you xxx

I joined a bunch of Facebook divorce groups. They have a great sense of community and give some really good advice as they’ve been through it themselves.
Mumsnet forums here are also really good for answering any question too x

https://iamlip.com/
https://iamlip.com/home/
I used these help guides to help me through the court process because I couldn’t afford to get a solicitor and my ex had a whole legal team around him. I had one for a short time but nothing got done and I just couldn’t keep paying so much. The resource is free so didnt have to spend thousands, my friend used it whilst also using a solicitor though so she could do some of it herself e.g. forms and save money where she could. Hope this might be able to help! It also really helped me understand what was going on in my divorce x

You are right - you deserve so much better. Don’t forget that!