Anyone got decree absolute before financial order being awarded in acrimonious split involving court?

[jj2323]

Just wondering if anyone has got decree absolute before a financial order being awarded by a court? I know its not generally advised, but has anyone done this?

My partner's ex with whom he has 3 kids (under 18) has dragged divorce process out for over 3 years now. Remains in family home and going through court to try to get house sold. She's been offered more than 60% split of assets so she can rehouse to a smaller property in same area (flat rather than house), but refuses to move or sell the house, even though she can no longer afford the mortgage payments on paper. Unsure where the money is coming from to pay the mortage still....but payments still being made apparently.

Just sick of it now, as my partner and I obviously want to move on with our lives after more than 3 years together now, meanwhile his ex seems intent on trying to ruin his life and drag him down with her. A friend of mine in a similar position says her partner is just going to go ahead and get the absolute. I do feel this would solve some of the problems as they still have joint life insurance on the family home which I'm not comfortable about, and she has done various dodgy things like opening his mail and others I won't go in to.

In case anyone wonders, I have never been the other woman. Met my partner around 6 months after their relationship ended due to the ex having an affair (her partner is now suspected to be living in marital home but impossible to prove).

Has anyone just gone ahead with getting the absolute then proceeding with court proceedings to get assets split?

Happened to my friend.

Her Ex was desperate to get the divorce so he could remarry (although the engagement didn't last).

The finances took years more to resolve.

Thanks. No plans to remarry but getting the divorce finalised could help resolve some of issues like being able to move forward and cancel the joint life insurance. Think the ex is trying to control/ruin his life so feel the boundary of decree absolute could be a positive move forward if it won't scupper anything at court re financial order.

The financial order is tricky if one party buys a property/car/something of value in the meantime. It can get taken into account?

Not in UK but can not get a divorce without financial settlement here. I wish I could as I really don't want to still be married to him and his wife.

Yes I have done this BUT I might have a problem.

Divorce finalised last month, we agreed between ourselves, neither party coerced the other, and we signed documents to the effect of the agreement.

I have not heard from my solicitor, that's another story, but I am informed that my ex husband has been told our situation will require us to go to court.

I have bought a new home from the proceeds of our house sale. I'm hoping that's not what is up for discussion but I am thinking more likely the fact I have only had the equivalent of 10% of his pension which I was advised was a silly move by my solicitor. I never was going to touch that.

Hopefully my solicitor "might" make contact with me at some point to update me.

When I asked what happens if the court don't agree with the mutually agreed settlement and he said it's not a common event and if it does a letter to the court will sort this out but at this moment in time I'm not convinced.

I did. Your partner needs legal advice.

I was told not to as moving on eg buying new property, could be taken into account in the financial order.
Not sure if that was true or not. Took me years (and ££££s) to get divorced.

Also, you can only go to court 3 times for the financial order before the judge will force settlement.

@Jas683 fingers crossed your situation turns out ok. Thanks to others for confirming it can be done.

Yes he has a solicitor. I know generally they recommend the financials are sorted first, but if it all has to go through court anyway, he isn't planning to buy a flat until the financials are sorted, it sounds like an avenue that might be worth exploring, to draw a line under it all, and get officially divorced, rather than continue to wait. As someone who is divorced, personally I think getting that bit of paper to say the divorce is done helps draw a line under the whole thing (even if the financials aren't sorted).