He's not progressing things

[Floating83]

I don't even know where to start.
We've been sleeping separately for a year, I told him I wanted to separate in January.
He didn't take it the best (even though we'd tried counselling and it felt clear we couldn't salvage it)
I was nice, I gave him time to come to terms with it, I didn't want us telling the kids to feel like we were against each other, I had to tell his parents in May as he hadn't and had to push to tell the kids Iver summer. They took it amazingly BTW.
We got our hiuse valued 3 months ago and I spoke to a broker. I told him you need 3 months of clear bank statements to get the best mortgage moving forwards.
2 weeks ago I arranged 3 estate agents with an aim to have on the market last week. He was in agreement, was at the valuations and everything.
Then the day before I'm going to instruct an estate agent he decides he might want to buy me out.
He then tells me he'd need to speak to a broker about it (Wtf hadn't he spoken to one 3m ago when we first got it valued)
He keeps forgetting to book the broker.
He finally speaks to her today and I have to get get to tell me the outcome as he doesn't offer it.
He hasn't kept his accounts clear for 3m like I told him he'd need to and now he says he can't afford to buy me out for at least 3m.
Ive had my accounts clear for 3m already and am having to scrape funds from family until I can get a mortgage, which I can't do until he can provide evidence he can buy me out.
I'm fuming, I'm so angry. I gave him so much time to get used to things to try and be nice, I've told him every step of the way what would need doing for different things and he is throwing all back in my face.
I'm stuck in the house with him now for another 3m while he sorts his finances out and I don't know what to do. There isn't a way out.
What can I do?
At the moment I can get a mortgage that I think will be enough, but in 3m rates will have changed and I might be screwed.

If he can't afford to buy you out right now then you put it on the market. You do realise if you give him the 3 months he will find another reason to delay, then another, and another...

I assume you are both very clear (and have legal documents ) on the equity percentage split once sold? If not then you really need to get onto your solicitor and get something drawn up first.

Well our deeds are 50/50, but anything in our separation isn't legally binding until we are divorced.
I didn't think I could put the house on the market if we share ownership.

Go see a solicitor. Solicitors can get a court order forcing the sale of the marital home. The judge can even sign the sale papers on behalf of your husband if he refuses. You have options so don't despair. If he knows that a judge could sell on his behalf (yes it costs money and time but if DH doesn't know the decision could be taken away from him then he will keep messing around). It might help focus his mind a little more rather than prevaricating

You need a solicitor to draft your financial consent form prior to the absolute anyway so go see one now about how you can legally push through the house sale. Once you are armed with knowledge you will feel more in control. Good luck.

Saw a solicitor on Monday but at that point we'd had people in the value the house with the intent to sell 2 weeks ago, then he decided he wanted to buy me out so we held off putting it on the market.
Turns out he hadn't even checked if he could and with the kids, I really want to avoid too much solicitor stuff as I could imagine him turning into someone awful and spiteful.

It's going to end up ugly.

He will not make it fair or easy or amicable. His behaviour for the last year+ has shown you that.

Accept there will be some horribleness want a divorce, otherwise you may as well accept staying in an unhappy marriage.

It’s not rocket science in working out whether he can afford to buy you out?

Anyone with half a brain could work it out in a minute

Agree with Randomness, he's already started on the dickhead route and it won't get any better unfortunately. The way forward is to be clear, concise, and legal. Keep all emotion out of it and don't rely on him being kind or putting the children's needs first. He's fallen at the first hurdle.

Perhaps your DH is different. I already knew my DH was a manipulative darvo expert so I calmly told him the solicitor says blah blah so that is what I'm doing. If you think it's wrong please go see your own solicitor, oh and by the way did you know judges can sign on your behalf if you refuse to do certain things? He's now doing what a normal person should be doing because he knows he doesn't have a legal leg to stand on. It makes a refreshing change tbh.