How much divorce paperwork can I do myself?

[PurpleSubmarine]

Name changed, have had advice to LTB, am seeing sense and taking that advice.

I’m seeing a solicitor for 30 mins free tomorrow. I don’t want to waste it and would like some help with what I should ask and how to word it.

I’m thinking that now that there is no fault divorce, it’s cheaper for me to just fill in the application online myself rather than pay a solicitor to do that. Am I missing something?

For context, H has refused to leave the family home (fair enough, we own it jointly) and has also refused to have any conversations about separating, finances etc. He says he won’t leave unless a judge tells him to and keeps repeating that he loves me, taking no responsibility for having been, to keep this short, a prize dick.

What I’d like is a divorce that is quick and final, rather than the protracted drama I think STBXH would rather enjoy.

What is the best way to word with with a solicitor to push things in that direction?

I’m asking as I spoke to one last week. She was recommending mediation (which I am happy to do) but also recommending that her firm would be completing the divorce application. Am I missing an obvious reason why I shouldn’t be filling in what looks like a simple form? Is there a way of asking for help with financial and DC arrangements but doing the rest myself?

Can you not just go online and file ?

Can I? I thought I could, but the solicitor I had a free consultation with was warning me off that, and I’m worried I’m missing a reason as to why. Maybe I’m overthinking and I can just go online and do it?

You can do pretty much all of it yourself BUT that is based on both parties being fairly amicable - the minute you involve solicitors mediators and judges the costs can run away from you

I got divorced entirely independently however there were mitigating factors - I was keeping the house (he wouldn't have been in a position to do so) and I refused to sell. He had already moved out at my request months previously.

No children.

We agreed we wouldn't touch anything else of each others (pensions/savings etc).

He wasn't smart enough to challenge me on anything. I even found and paid for his solicitor to have the TR1 for the property handover certified.

He's not the brightest and was also probably terrified of spending money on legal fees, so worked entirely to my advantage. I was fair..ish.

He got more than he morally deserved but less then his legal entitlement if he'd have bothered.

Are you able to say how much it cost you altogether? Hoping to do similar DIY, all amicable, costs as low as possible hopefully. Thank you.

The 30 mins won’t be quality advice. It will be someone fairly junior who is going to say “it depends” for 20 mins and nod in sympathy for the other 10 and try to sell you their services.

Lawyers have a high hourly rates. They don’t just donate half an hour of their time to help you avoid paying for their skills in family law.

It’s fine to go in for this to see if you have a rapport but it won’t answer all the questions you need it to answer.

You have to ask yourself, why would a family solicitor not direct yourself to fill in the forms 🤔 is it because they are concerned for your welfare or because they can't charge?? You can fill the form in to start the divorce yourself, depending on how complicated anyone wants to make it depends on whether you could do the majority yourself and even if it did get more complicated with finances, you could engage a solicitor at that point.

@marshmallowfinder yes of course; I think filing online on the gov.uk website was about £550.00 when I did it in 2020, and I think paying for his solicitor for the TR1 was about £500 also. So about £1k just over.

I did however pay fees of about £2000 to my financial advisor for all the remortgage and land registry stuff, and other personal Will and Pension related stuff to do with keeping the house but I appreciate this might not be the same for you.

I researched A LOT - I read lots of forums and websites; the information is out there if you look for it x

£593.00 to file online paid to HMCourts. £53.00 to file financial Consent order with HM Courts. £480.00 for solicitor to write a financial consent order.....

I did spend £100.00 on solicitors advice before I started the divorce process.....

I think if your divorce is pretty simple it is better to do it yourself as solicitors fees can spiral out of control

The divorce bit is the easy bit,
go online and do that yourself £570ish it costs. Your H can’t object to it - he will get notified, it helps if he responds but if he doesn’t they talk you through what to do next - you just have to serve the papers to him.

I wouldn’t trust that solicitor. In contrast mine told me yes they could file for divorce for me but it would be cheaper for me to do that part myself.

the difficult bit is the financial order that - if you agree - needs to be rubber stamped by a judge before you get the final divorce thing through.

that’s where the mediation etc comes into it.

if I were you I’d do the divorce online then take it from there. Hopefully he will come to accept it’s happening.

I'm in a similar position - did you get a financial order in the end or just agree between you not to make a claim in the future?

I echo this ^^

It's almost to the penny what mine cost. Very amicable and all finances fairly sorted when we separated so consent order wasn't a difficult job for my solicitor to draft for me.

We drew up a document together ahead of applying for the absolute - we both signed and dated it and also had it witnessed. It was also presented to the solicitor as part of the TR1 process. To be honest this was a risky move at the time, so a proper consent order would be my actual recommendation.

I should add that although I'm nothing to do with family law I do have background in legal contracts as part of my work. But even so if was taken to task it could have been a problem.

A Financial consent order legally disconnects you financially/ they cannot come back for more unless they can prove you have lied on your D81 declaration

if you dont get one you are still connected - even once divorced - so if you won the lottery they could try their luck and try to get some..... I know not likely but from everything I looked at while going through my divorce it said to get a financial consent order

Can I just say everyone's advice on here has been really helpful (not the OP, just an observer). I still feel like I'll never be able to afford a divorce so I'll never be free myself, but it gives me something to fasten some hope on should I ever be able to start saving!

I filed online, no solicitor needed. The only bit that needs a solicitor is to prepare the consent order

Thank you, this is helpful. I am going to ask my solicitor if something like this would do for me - my ex is planning to remarry so I don't think he could claim against me after that.

Check out https://moloneyfamilylaw.co.uk/ aka "Legal Queen". Have some really helpful advice regarding divorce, finance, and children incl. doing this yourself. Also have podcast and social media where you can asks questions if you wish also. I have absolutely nothing to do with them just have listened to some of the podcasts and seen some of their social media. And also - remember, you will need a financial order as well not just the legal divorce!

Wow. This is all really helpful, thank you. I’m going to fill in the divorce application tomorrow and take it from there.

Like others I did my divorce myself. And I found an online consent order company. My ex and I agreed everything, I submitted the info to the website! Cost about £200 but meant it was all legal. I even found a discount code to save even more😁!

I felt so hopeless earlier today but hearing these stories of how it can be done makes me feel optimistic.

Thank you very much!

I also did mine myself. It was before no fault divorce so I did a lot of research how to word the unreasonable behaviour section.

I paid about £800 for advice and drawing up of the consent order to a local solicitor then separately to the cheapest online firm I could find for the subsequent property transfer into my name (they were shit and I had to chase a lot).

We saved a lot of money by agreeing. I was very glad to have that sealed consent order I can tell you.

Unfortunately you are focussing on the wrong thing.

It's really really straightforward to file for divorce.

But if you have someone who won't leave, won't agree to sell, won't engage, then that leaves you living in a house with someone you are now divorced from.

I'd look into mediation as you will need to do that anyway, or at least show you tried. Be prepared to have to make all the appointments and push for everything. I wouldn't spend money on solicitor letters until you have to.

What do you want in terms of a financial settlement? 50:50? Pension split? Sell house or one buys the other out? The part of divorce that's hard is the financial settlement, not the filing.

Has he agreed to divorce, OP, even if he hasn't agreed specifics of how to split assets?

Filing the £593 form means you can spend 5 months (you have to wait that long in a NF divorce for actual next steps) researching the options to move forward, and trying to coax him into the simplest easiest & fairest for both of you possible settlement. Negotiating that and dealing with your own emotions are the things that really take the most time & effort in a divorce imho.

I found the sequence of forms & steps baffling, partly because 80% of the online advice is about the old blame-somebody system, not a NF split, so I was constantly confused what the names of things (forms, etc.) were at each step, and what order to do them in. But we actually only resorted to a solicitor to get a Mesher clause put in written in Legalese (which turned out to be enormously simple, but I literally could not find a single example online). Almost managed to go solicitor free otherwise.