Too late to do anything?

[mejustmenothingtobe]

Interested in clarifying the legal position her…I got divorced six years ago. The negotiations were very fast and very unpleasant. I now realise that i was being financially and emotionally abused and coerced into agreeing matters. I agreed a full and final settlement based on the financial info submitted by my ex and I to the courts.He tried to siphon out £70k into his business. He had done this previously before the divorce at least twice so I spotted it and got it back.

After the divorce I had problems with the kids’ maintenance, took him to the CSA but due to their incompetence and slowness in response I had to settle with him privately at a lower rate than i was entitled to because he withheld any maintenance until I did. Scroll to now and I’m try8ng to live on the same amount even tho the kids costs have shot up due to schools changes mainly. I can’t work due to serious illness and despite claiming his business is failing my ex is living the life of Riley….v expensive cars, holidays, clothes, house improvements , new furniture etc .
I know that opening a financial settlement is almost impossible unless there’s fraud involved. I have recently found out that he had premium bonds that don’t appear on the form he submitted to the divorce papers. Is this enough for me to get the case opened up and to ask f9r a full review of his assets at that time? I also know he had some expensive watches that were undervalued. Based on his behaviour since the divorce I really think he hid quite a lot of assets.

I know that opening a financial settlement is almost impossible unless there’s fraud involved

but you say that he lives the life of Riley despite claiming his business is failing

So report him as he will be dodging tax

What is the value of the premium bonds and were they in the children’s name?

It depends on a few things really. First of all, check if the financial settlement included a clean break. If not, you could make a claim for spousal maintenance although to be successful you would need to demonstrate that you are maximising your own earning capacity first.

Assuming it was a clean break, then you would need to prove fraud. It won't be enough to say he has premium bonds now, you will need to prove he had them at the time and failed to disclose. You're going to have to incur a few legal fees before you can force him to disclose anything after a clean break so you do need to make sure you are absolutely certain that this was fraud first.

Go back to cms and ask for a reassessment

It will likely cost you a lot to try to reopen - and you will have to prove a lot to the point that if something was withheld it would have materially impacted the outcome.

Yes potentially. What proof do you have?

Also, go to a solicitor that specialises in this kind of thing as most of them are hopeless beyond the basics (as I'm finding out the long and expensive way).

It will be very difficult to get a consent order changed. Unlike other court orders, a legally binding consent order cannot be varied or set aside unless there are exceptional circumstances. A few undisclosed premium bonds won’t be viewed as exceptional circumstances. How do you know he had them at the time of the consent order?

When you agreed to he consent order you would have had your own solicitor advising you- so to say 6 years later after agreeing the order you were ‘coerced into agreeing matters’ would be extremely difficult to prove. How were you coerced?

If you don’t believe he is paying the correct amount of CM then you should pursue a claim through the CMS. He should be contributing the right amount.

Your post comes across as 6 years down the line you aren’t happy with your financial situation and you want to go after him for more. If you want more money - then you need to go out and earn it. You have been divorced over 6 years - you aren’t his responsibility. Of course there is no doubt he should be contributing towards the children (as you should).

In his name but no idea As to value

I did that but my information wasn’t enough

I understand your frustration- I can’t answer properly now due to my illness but will do in the morning after I have rested

@NorthernSpirit
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Unlike other court orders, a legally binding consent order cannot be varied or set aside unless there are exceptional circumstances
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I queried something with the CMS recently over consent orders as ex was threatening not to deliver on child maintenance agreed 18 months ago in the order . I was advised by the CMS that they would do nothing unless he wasn't paying what they had deemed him having to pay, even if this was at variance with whatever was agreed in the CO. I said this didn't seem fair as the divorce went ahead based on him stating he would support his children financially to the tune of £x. They were pretty adamant they would not get involved. So, COs CAN be set aside by the CMS it appears, and the only option would be to take it up with the court.

After 12 months of a consent order child maintenance falls to the cms jurisdiction hence if a child maintenance value is included in a consent order that can be varied after a year as the court no longer has jurisdiction in matters relating to child maintenance

however, it can’t be reopened or set aside in relation to split of assets If it was a clean break order unless it can be proved it was based on very material
inaccuracies which if declared at the ti e would have led to a significantly material outcome of split. They won’t do this for a few tens of thousands, and it will be op to price that this costing a lot to even get to court

this is why it’s not advised to accept lower assets on basis of higher cms as after 12 months this will fall to cns rates if nrp asks for a reassessment

I'm in a similar position OP, though years down the line. I was in an unhappy marriage and my ex was emotionally manipulative and convinced me that I should get nothing. I knew that disagreeing with him would be hell, and because of the harmful relationship dynamic, I let him have literally everything whilst I had very little. He's never paid the CMS minimum.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you and it's so shit that some men are happy with seeing their children have living standards that are far below their own. It's so shit. I have no advice, just a great deal of sympathy.

TYPO ALERT…. Blame my rubbish hands…sorry…

Thankyou everyone, it’s much appreciated. I can type again now I’ve had some sleep so here goes…answering the questions and comments as best I can…
HMRC weren’t interested and things like the expensive cars can be booked as assets of the business. The business valuation at the time of the divorce was, base£ on his behaviour afterwards, understated I think but it was signed off by his accountants and that was all the court required.
I have found in my papers confirmation of his premium bond holding number and some of£ bank statements from the time of the divorce showing a couple of small prizes being won. My lawyers didn’t spit that a5 the time so didn’t ask specifically about any he held. As to amount I have no clue.

re going out and earning the money I take the point but I am permanently signed off due to my illness. I am not asking for any spousal maintenance, it is only child maintenance and it is only half the increase in their costs. He refused to include any maintenance in the final settlement so I have no recourse to get him to update what he pays and I have already tried the CMS. They were hopeless and he used that as an opportunity to pa6 me nothing at all knowing I would have to give in because I have no other income sources.

wh6 wait so long? Well I have asked my self that too…the best way I can put it is apart from the fact that I found this PB info literally yesterday, at the time of the settlement I had no real idea as to how much he’d been lying to me about how much he earned. I hadn’t seen the extent of how much he was willing to do in cash, repurpose from his work and just hide from the authorities. So I trusted he’d provide the full amounts. My lawyer didn’t raise concerns and at the same time he was bombarding me with texts and phone calls tryin to get me to settle. This was after many years of emotional abuse that I am still dealin with and that my children are still affected by. Add to that about four years of severe health issues that I am getting in control,of bu5 will never be free of and I f8nd myself 8n th8s position.

despite this all I want to know is whether it’s worth revisiting the in formation provided at the time ie is non declaration of premium bonds fraud or is there a threshold of materiality that has to be satisfied. If the latter it’s obvious that even if it’s unfair I will have to suck it up. If the former then it’s a question of whether I think the amounts involved are worth it and getting my source info out and checking thru it for any more eveidence that may have been missed.

thanks for reading this far.

Ok forget the premium bonds op

child maintenance. Go to cms.

and Hmrc will be interested. He can’t offset everything as expenses FGS! If his business really is going amazingly as you think - then he won’t be able to hide a fraction of it legally.

how often does he have the children? And how old are they?

You can’t be “permanently signed off” op unless you have been Ill-health retired?

in reverse order…kids are getting older in their teens now hence increased school costs as school changed - travel alone wipes out over half what he pays me at the moment. He has them c 35% of the time.

He is too clever to just expense stuff. He does a lot in cash , flash industrial and tech equ8pment that is ‘for work’ appears on a regular basis, he has put money into easily moveable assets such as watches (at least four that i know of at about £10k), holidays when he’s told me the business is suffering….the usual bollocks but each official agency seems to only be able to investigate 8f I give them hard evidence but of course I have no access to his bank accounts etc. Rock and a hard place.

Yes I have. And I am in the support group for ESA which is what I meant.

You seem to have quite a bit of communication with him about what he’s buying and his business!

and he has them for 35% off the time so that will obviously very substantially reduce CMS.

why don’t you talk to him about all the extras, which he will know about presumably given he’s very involved and say you’re worried about the children having to give up activities etc

You have been permanently signed off work by a GP?

how old are you?

How many children? How old are they? Do they have a good relationship with their dad?

sadly I think that’s where I am. I will have to suck it up and trust in ‘this too will pass’ and that the kids see through his BS (obv he’s got all the latest tech etc at his for gaming etc) I left him to make sure they were brought up with love not pots of money but at the same time I am in debt and struggling to keep things going. Then finding that PB stuff yesterday just made me think about the inequality of all this. I see it much more clearly now with six years’ and a lot of therapy to help me but that’s no help when trying to redress the balance. As you say, it’s shit. I hope anybody going through an abusive divorce now has the strength to stick up for their fair share and don’t end up in this position.

I am observant and the kids tell me stuff. I do not ask them btw! Agreed re CMS reduction but he still dodged that. I have tried numerous times to talk to him. All reasonable routes have been exhausted believe me. He presents as a normal guy until I mention anything re money. Then it’s abuse and ignoring and threats to withhold what he does deign to pay. I have been signed off permanently and I am now 50. I would work work if I could. I was an equal breadwinner and i always worked until I got ill.

I work in this area and I have never heard of permanent sign off. Ever. Do you mean “indefinitely”?

go with cms op.

im guessing the children are mid/older teens?