Went to a wedding yesterday, have known bride for 25 plus years. It's her third marriage. Only other person I knew was the bridesmaid. I'm going through quite a tough time at the moment, for reference, and in talking to the bride prior to the wedding she assured me that I'll be on a fun table etc.
Left it as late as possible to arrive and made a bit of small talk with a few people surrounding me, mainly offering to take photos instead of them taking selfies.
The bride is part of a huge group, and it was mainly injokes that I didn't understand.
I kid you not when I say the only people there who were single were teenagers.
It comes to the meal and I'm sat right at the back of the room, with the teenagers, who all either sat there on their phones or spoke between themselves. Most I got from one of them was she works for a supermarket.
I have never felt so lonely in all my life. I didn't stay and made excuses about a child emergency then cried in the car all the way home.
This morning I am questioning where I've gone wrong in life. Although I have friends, I've always been on the fringe of groups due to having kids earlier and then also having one much later (sole custody so no down time), so unable to join the second wind of life so many people get when their kids are getting older. And the men I meet are the same, or grandads.
Im also thinking it was a really shitty thing for my friend to do, and am questioning that too.
Existential crisis all round this morning.