Hi All,
My wife and I have been together 9 years, married for 5 and we have no children together. Wife has a son who is 25+ and lives with his partner and child.
We have our home with a joint mortgage since 2020 but she previously lived in this house for 20 years prior and I moved in 8 years ago with a split of 50/50 of the mortgage and bills. Both working full time at the time and she had previously remortgaged a couple of times so there was very little equity in the house when I did move in.
Wife was working until 2018 but is now on ESA & PIP so I now pay around 65% of mortgage and bills and I pay for any holidays we have and dining out etc.
There are a number of reasons we are splitting up, the two main ones are ongoing issues caused through her son and partner. The Wife is siding with them over the two issues that have now come between us because its her 'Son'. This puts us at risk with the courts from a legal perspective with her son and partner going against the judges orders whilst an unfortunate investigation into them both has come about. The issue is that this also risks my employment and everything I have worked for in my career because of the aforementioned situation where they have no respect for what the Judge or Court is asking of them.
Splitting up / divorce wasn't on my agenda and I'll admit I'll be devastated when it happens but its seems things have gone too far and the outlook is that there is now no way back. The situations I have mentioned above are a lot more complicated that what I have been able to write above. This leaves me where I am having to give some serious thought to what may happen with a divorce and to consider the financial splits.
Some pondering questions If anyone has any thoughts:
Its not likely she could keep the house on herself at the current mortgage rates and bills, The mortgage will also increase next year when the current fixed term ends.
I don't think I could stay here and see her leave the home given how long she has lived here previously so best option would be to sell and look to agree a split. (Roughly £50k equity) Given her sentiment with the house for so long prior to our relationship this is where it might turn bitter.
Q1: Does the fact she owned the home previously before we secured a joint mortgage on it have any significance in the financial split?
(Even before our joint mortgage I contributed 50% from the day I moved in 4 years prior)
Q2: Will the fact that she is on benefits (enhanced awards for ESA & PIP) lean towards that she gets a larger split as she has no earning capacity?
(Noting that she couldn't afford to solely make the payments for the home due to her being on benefits and I doubt she could buy me out as she has a DMP in place so no real option to obtain a remortgage. (She does make cakes to sell now and then to keep busy but not enough to say it would be classed as earnings. Its more of a hobby just covering the costs)
Q3: Although she doesn't work, her current private pension pot is worth more than mine. Do they take into account the current figures or is it what they will likely be at pension age as hers won't grow but mine will?
Q4: There is outstanding finance solely in my name for a new Kitchen, I pay for this so should this be taken into consideration in any split?
Worried and saddened about where this goes so any thoughts and answers to the questions are welcome. I'd obviously like to do this without solicitors but know things can go too far and we can end up having to go down that route which just adds to the worries and stress of it all.
Thanks for reading.