MIAM/mediation - what do you wish you had asked for

[Shewhobecamethesun]

Separated from husband, I have filed for divorce. He has requested mediation and I have to have a MIAM first to discuss what I would like. We have already agreed a contact schedule for the kids (3nights/4nights) but I guess it's a time to talk about special occasions, birthdays, Christmas etc. and finance but I'm quite happy walking away with just the house (rented) and the car I drive (a 10yr old banger whilst he can have his 6 month old sports car). I don't care about savings/pensions etc, we earned similar amounts so there isn't much to argue over.

So my question is - what do people do regarding Christmas and birthdays for contact.
And also - is there anything, with hindsight, that you didn't mention but wish you did?

Thank you

Oh I should mention our youngest dc's birthday is on Boxing Day so we can't do the usual Christmas Day/Boxing Day split I was thinking one does Christmas morning, then swap over at lunch, and then the other parents does Christmas lunch and Boxing Day morning, then again switch at lunch and first parent does birthday tea.
But our other ds's birthday, what would be a good idea? Because I'm sure we both want to see him on that day so again should be do a lunchtime swap? Would that work?

If it went to court - a judge wound likely give (& IMO the fairest thing) would be alternative Christmas (incl Boxing Day), New Years and birthdays.

Swapping on key days makes things very complicated.

Swapping on key days normally means you either have to carry on living very close to each other (fine for some people, less so for others) or one person has to be very inconvenienced. However, given the proposed 3/4 split it is likely you will need to live very close to make the arrangement work anyway.