Am I likely to get more than 50% assets in court?

[Wishfulfilmwatching1]

Hello- does anyone have any experience/ advice on this?

Husband and I separated 6 months ago (his choice- he now lives with his girlfriend who had absolutely nothing to do with why he left me- honestly!)

Married 12 years, two DDs (7 and 9). He has the girls for tea once or twice in the week, and has them overnight one night at the weekend, however they live with me and stay with me 6 nights out of 7. He works shifts and can’t get the girls to school in the morning.

we’re starting to talk finances. I’ve spoken to a solicitor who has said that I should ask for 50% of pension assets and 60% of house assets. This is to reflect the fact that the girls are with me 6 nights out of 7.

ex-h says his solicitor says this shouldn’t matter and I should have 50% regardless.

I want to avoid court etc, but can anyone advise… is it usual that if I house the children 6 night out of 7 I’d only be entitled to 50% of house assets? (He says his solicitor says that it is).

thanks in advance.

Are you able to house the girls in the same area on that 60% - because that's what would make me need more, to keep their lives the same (same schools etc)?

Also if he's going to have them so little then you're going to need enough money to do almost ALL the parenting

The basic point though is to stop talking to each other about what your solicitors say - they will just tell you what they think you want to hear

And your ex went off with someone else so he's not exactly likely to be reliable at telling you something is he ?

Thanks for advice. It’s crazy that solicitors aren’t more ‘homest’. I repeatedly asked mine.. ‘if h was your client would you say the same thing’ to try and get a balanced view. I feel like I’m paying for his advice and experience- not bullshit!

If I maxed out my mortgage I could stay nearby with 60% and I don’t think I’d get more. Divorce is shit!

Get your own legal advice. It will be worth it in the end what you pay now will be more than offset by the value of any increased share of assets.

The starting point of any split will be 50% but things the housing of any children will be taken into account.

Child maintenance is to address the split of care. The marital asset split will be handled separately, because anything could change in terms of care for the girls and it is also a temp measure ie they grow up.

So much more depends on more than just who has the children most number of nights. I was warned since I'm the higher earner by 3 times as much but have kids 100% of the time my ex husband could argue for the greater share as he earns so little. Irrelevant that he doesn't have overnights

Your solicitor has a duty to act in your best interests. They are doing so, why aren't you trusting their advice?

Stop talking direct to your ex about this and let your solicitor do their job. Of course your ex wants you to believe that you would only get 50%, why do you believe someone who is known to be dishonest over someone who is both paid to represent your interests and has a professional duty to do so?

What you get will be very fact specific. Nobody here can tell you what you will get. Your solicitor should have all the facts and circumstances that we don't. They are telling you to ask for 60% for a reason, why would you go for less?

The number of nights is relevant, because you need somewhere to house the kids.
Also relevant is how much equity there is, and therefore whether both parties can afford to buy somewhere suitable, how much each earns (in order to be able to afford apropriate housing and other costs) etc.
But of course your ex is telling you his solicitor says less. Have you seen that in writing from his solicitor or is it just what he has told you?

Your solicitor is acting in your best interests. Your ex husband won't be.

By all means go to another solicitor if you aren't sure , but don't listen to what your exH tells you "his solicitor said".

He's presumably your ex for a reason?

Of course it will be worth compromising somewhere to avoid court if possible, but your solicitor should advise where that point is

In terms of negotiation, probably best to ask for 65% of total pot (pensions and house) with a view to settling on 60%. You can get your solicitor to write to your ex with your expectations.

I think you're sensible for not wanting to go to court - expensive, stressful and truly last resort.

Key argument is what is needed for your kids and id focus all arguments on that. Alot of divorce comes down to negotiations.

If you want to keep it amicable, id request mediation if he wont agree after a few solicitors letters, and he may be willing to be more generous by then. Basically you want what you need but keep it as amicable and friendly as possible.

Declaring war on an ex is seldom in the best interests of everyone so try to keep it nice whilst saying you need to ensure your kids are looked after.

I was married for 21 years+ and I offered 60% even though my solicitors advised me to start with 50%.

A lot of things are taken into account, the contribution from both the parties, the earning power, etc. and it's not just about the kids.

The kids are at an age, where they will be able to adjust even if you had to move areas.

Take that all into consideration since you don't want to drag it on and pay for solicitors.

Remember you are starting the next chapter of your life with your kids and without your ex.

He isn’t your friend when you are going through a divorce. You need to stop talking to him about it and listen to your solicitor. I speak from experience.

Of the reasons to claim a higher % this is a weak one. If you are going to co parent your housing needs are generally the same. A lot depends on his intentions to co parent. You need to show why he needs a smaller or cheaper property.

His share of overnights is low and maybe your solicitor intends to argue your husband can make do with a 1 bed. But your solicitor will need to show your housing needs couldn’t be met otherwise.

You would be on more solid ground with an income disparity or the fact his housing needs are met.

It’s not about the solicitors being dishonest. Yours is building a set of arguments to secure what you are asking for. This will be countered. Most certainly on the grounds that your housing needs are excessive. Your are not maximising your income. He wants more overnights and he will claim his current living arrangements aren’t permanent.

I forgot to add that I offered her 60% only because she was dragging it on and in the process, making the lawyers rich.

My ex dh hot 16% and I kept all of my 30 year NHS Pension but I paid the best solicitor amd he behaved poorly refusing to sign anything ect
Actually offered him 50/50 for a long time in the first instance

You need to show why he needs a smaller or cheaper property.

This is going to be disregarded and never going to be entertained in court!!!

My ex tried that and failed.

Both your housing needs are the same and the children may end up spending more time with the ex.

The fact is that nobody can predict the future..

1. Depends what you each earn and then what your needs are; and

2. No solicitor will give you more than a ballpark figure because every case is unique and judges have a wide discretion.

If you tell me what you each earn I can at least tell you if your husband's solicitor is in the right ballpark.

@Easterdaffsx can you please share the solicitors details?

The result was very unusual so the facts were probably very unusual too. Solicitors generally don't make as much difference as people seem to think. We can make the divorce run more smoothly, we can make sure everything is submitted on time, we can ensure every argument is made or countered and we can give guidance on what is and is not worth pursuing. However, we cannot create magic in front of a district judge who is normally more experienced in the law than we are.

Both of your earning potential is key. Do you earn roughly the same, or is one of you a significantly higher earner? Does one of you work part time? If so, you’d both be expected to increase your hours.

he should be paying you child maintenance.