"Healing/moving forward

[loverofpants]

Hi,
I found out in Jan that my STBXH was having an affair. Currently still in the same house for financial reasons but he's likely to move out soon finally.

Does anyone have any recommendations for books/podcasts for getting over things and healing as such?

I want to just work on myself and get myself in a positive place to be able to feel ok again.

Thank you

Sounds random but I found listening to 'women-centred' podcasts such as Womans Hour and 'Witch' on BBC Sounds helpful, because they totally immerse you in women's perspectives and help you feel like you are part of something, like you have the backing of all the women of the world. Plus reading Helen Thorn's Get Divorced Be Happy, and The Unexpected Joy of Being Single by Catherine Gray, and Nora Ephron's Heartburn. Just jumping into women's culture, if that makes sense.

Heartburn is great. I found for me that the massive shift in how I was feeling came as soon as we lived separately.
Not sure if you use Instagram but been following Mother Pukka and Kelle Hampton who are both navigating divorce

Some of the things I've been listening to - mostly found from MN recommendations:

On Being with Krista Tippett
Tell Me How You're Mighty / Chump Lady - it's a bit full-on but with a lot of wisdom in how to deal with an affair
Feel Better, Live More - Rangan Chatterjee
Wiser than me - Julia Louis Dreyfus
Divorce Sucks, Your Life Doesn't Have To

I agree with the pp that I find lots of women-centred writing and podcasts is helping me. Heartburn is great.

I've also been reading lots of manifesting/affirmation books like Louise Hay You Can Heal Your Heart and the visualisations on Untapped (podcast) and meditations like Pema Chodron (When Things Fall Apart) and Eckhart Tolle (Power of Now)

I've discovered quite a lot of these books are available in ebook from my local library/.

Here's a list that keeps me going. Some are better/more useful than others. I particularly love Helen Thorn and has come back to her books more often than the others.
Books:
Helen Thorn : Get Divorced, Be Happy
Anthem Turner: How to Survive Divorce
Greg Behrendt: It's called a breakup because it is broken
Rebecca Humphries: Why did you stay

Podcasts
The Divorce Podcast
The Divorce Social
Divorce Goddess
Best Friend Therapy

Read MN treads (but please take with a pinch of salt as they can be a bit bleak at times)

Talk to friends and get a therapist!

Make a list of all the things you want to do for you. Join that bookclub/running club/ yoga / painting / Pottery group that you have been putting off.

Say yes to all the social things you can.

And know that you will have great, good and less good days and that's okay!

Wishing you all the best as you are navigating this next stage of your life. You got this!!