Beginning of separation

[Midsummer23]

Hello I’m looking for advice on how to go about separation. My husband mental health & general behaviour has recently got worse & worse. Getting more shouty at me & in front of our 3 & 4 year old boys. After he shouted at me & a friend yesterday I called my parents & left with my children. My mum asked him to leave our home so me & the children could stay but he refused. He said he will be very difficult, want custody and our home! Finically he earns well & mays majority of bills, I work 3 days & care for the children. Where do I go to begin about getting advice and what am I looking at here? He’s a very difficult man, emotionally abusive & I’m feeling so worried for me & the children as he’s manipulative.

The fact that he shouted at you, you have a witness, and you were scared enough to leave, means I’d be phoning the police and logging it as DV and look to getting him removed so that you can return the kids to their home.
Then I’d ring the HV and log it with them too.
Then you need to speak to a solicitor.
Do you have any joint bank accounts with savings in them ?
Do you have your wage and child benefits paid into your own account ?

How are you doing OP ?

Thank you for your reply. He left the family home thankfully Monday & we were able to come home. Iv let him see the kids for two bedtimes but stayed out of the way. I have spoken to a solicitor today & will speak to him about my plans Saturday. If this doesn’t go well I will need a non molestation order & occultation order I guess. I just don’t know how to play this, he is fine with kids so long as I am not there, so do I continue to allow him to see them? He keeps calling me, very emotional. His dad and work colleague also contacted me today. But it’s all about him. Not his impact on outer children

Personally I’d tell him not to contact you unless it’s about access to the kids.
Id think it’s best to let him see the kids as long as he is not using it to abuse you in any way.

Thank you. I feel so pleased to have taken the first step but am terrified of doing the wrong thing for the kids. As he’s abusive & a narcissist I’m scared he’l twist things I do or say. At the moment he’s very much the victim and I’d love bombing me but i know this will change

Yes it will, when he realises that he can’t control what happens. Stay strong and keep the future in mind.