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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Child Maintenance and mortgage payments

23 replies

ohfacksake · 07/10/2023 11:35

Hello everyone, I'm posting on behalf of my friend who isn't on MN.

She's currently going through a separation and is unsure what her ex should be paying. They have two children together and own their own home, which she will be living in with the children.

Will he need to pay child maintenance plus his half of the mortgage, or just the child maintenance and my friend will have to use some of it towards the mortgage?

I have advised her to get legal advice but I think she's worried that'll mean she'll be tied in to start legal proceedings.

Thanks in advance for your help

OP posts:

smartiesneberhadtheanswer · 07/10/2023 11:41

The judge will want a clean break, so for your friend to take on the mortgage and her ex pays child maintenance, which she can use towards the mortgage.

Otherwise Ex can't rehouse himself, unless he's very wealthy

Doggymummar · 07/10/2023 11:43

He wouldn't be told to pay for the house if he isn't living in it, one buys the other out of the house is sold and proceeds split.he can choose to pay the mortgage if he had them means

bombastix · 07/10/2023 11:47

It really depends on the finances. I got spousal and child maintenance ordered, and while we divorced, I got sums paid to meet the mortgage and child maintenance. There was money for that. But you don't get this automatically.

Your friend needs to see a solicitor and have a good understanding of the finances of the household to get anything.

What you friend should not think is "my ex will have to pay this because I can't". She should be thinking, "is there a legal reason for him to pay?"

gotomomo · 07/10/2023 11:58

All depends on the finances and what they personally agree. Typically either the house is sold on divorce or one party buys the other out. Cm is payable based on income

During separation child maintenance is due but whether they pay for the mortgage as well partly depends on whether that's even feasible.

IncomingTraffic · 07/10/2023 12:01

She’s going to need to speak to a solicitor about what happens to the house.

gotomomo · 07/10/2023 12:02

Where income is high (talking 6 figures plus) but assets aren't particularly high, a spousal maintenance order would potentially be made but be aware this is far from automatic and often are fairly limited in time, often to cover until children reach secondary education (where child care is not needed) sometimes to allow the lower income spouse finish education/return to work,and where there's significant sen. I receive spousal as I have an adult dd with autism who I've become the default carer for (her dad is welcome to take over but for now he gives me £500 a month)

2weekstowait · 07/10/2023 12:02

You are both equally liable for the mortgage, the mortgage company doesn't care who pays it. It's best to buy him out if you can or sell the house and split the equity.

LemonTT · 07/10/2023 13:20

OP you haven’t said whether your friend is married. Or provided information about her or her ex’s financial situation.

But it would be unusual for her not to have cover the full cost of the mortgage if she wants to stay in the home. Few people can pay rent and mortgages. And the fact she is paying the mortgage won’t change the % ownership she receives when it is sold.

There is a reason why most people avoid this option. Without a plan to deal with the shortfall in income and capital this traps women into low pay, high outgoings with little capital return.

CoopeyMum · 07/10/2023 16:31

Is your friend married to the ex?
Who's name(s) are on the mortgage?

These questions will supply different answers.

Original poster

ohfacksake · 08/10/2023 14:05

No, they're not married and both names are on the mortgage. I'm not sure if they both own 100% of it, or if it's 50/50 though.

OP posts:

Shinyandnew1 · 08/10/2023 14:09

It’s usually advised that there is a clean break-most people can’t afford to pay half of a mortgage on a house they’re not living in, plus house themselves separately.

Can the house be sold and the proceeds split so that they can both start again?

Will the children be shared 50/50?

yogasaurus · 08/10/2023 14:12

The house will likely have to be sold unless she can buy him out and the proceeds split.

Ffsnotaconference · 08/10/2023 14:17

One of them needs to buy the other out or sell usually.

If he has agreed to let her stay there’s no legal obligation to pay CMS AND his half the mortgage. Unless he agrees to.

If he does live there, why would he pay the mortgage?

Ffsnotaconference · 08/10/2023 14:18

Ffsnotaconference · 08/10/2023 14:17

One of them needs to buy the other out or sell usually.

If he has agreed to let her stay there’s no legal obligation to pay CMS AND his half the mortgage. Unless he agrees to.

If he does live there, why would he pay the mortgage?

sorry doesn’t live there.

Motheranddaughter · 08/10/2023 14:23

Normally one party buys the other party out but this needs the consent of the mortgage company which will only be forthcoming if the party has enough income to support this

Shinyandnew1 · 08/10/2023 14:27

They have two children together and own their own home, which she will be living in with the children.

Does he agree with that? I don’t know any couples where this has worked. Unless he is on a massive salary where he can afford to pay half a mortgage plus pay for somewhere for him to live-that’s big enough for the kids to come and stay-without needing to force the sale of the house??

What equity is in the house?

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/10/2023 14:30

She needs to pay for legal advice and it with commit her to a course of action. She’s just assuming he’ll give her the house which you don’t suggest he’s agreed to do.

thelonemommabear · 08/10/2023 14:33

Will he need to pay child maintenance plus his half of the mortgage, or just the child maintenance and my friend will have to use some of it towards the mortgage?

Child maintenance only unless he's particularly generous. It's irrelevant if the mortgage is in joint names.

SausageAndEggSandwich · 08/10/2023 14:39

If they're not married she isn't entitled to anything beyond child maintenance.

If he's not living in the house she will need to pay the whole mortgage, unless they come to an agreement between them to tide her over until they sell the house and can split the proceeds.

CoopeyMum · 08/10/2023 17:45

If they're both on the mortgage, they're both equally responsible for it.

The best thing to do here would be to buy him out or split 50/50.

toastofthetown · 08/10/2023 20:07

He’s liable for half the mortgage if his name is on it because it’s his debt. That also means he owns the house, so can live there or force a sale of the house. If your friend cannot afford the mortgage alone she’ll have to downsize or move into rented accommodation. He has no obligation to the housing costs of your friend, outside of her percentage of the house she owns and child maintenance. And if he ends up with a 50:50 arrangement for the children, no maintenance will be due.

thelonemommabear · 08/10/2023 22:04

He’s liable for half the mortgage if his name is on it because it’s his debt

Mortgages are jointly and severally liable - meaning the bank doesn't care who pays it so long as it is paid. Morally yea he should continue to pay half but the reality is one party can't force the other

FSTraining · 09/10/2023 00:10

It's not relevant to the OP's question as the couple were not married, but the comments about spousal maintenance are worth highlighting. "Six figures" isn't really a very useful measure of whether someone can afford SM these days, if it ever was. Sometimes people on less will pay for a short period (e.g. a couple in their late 50s where it is impractical for the lower earner to upskill, where payment lasts to retirement and pension sharing). Sometimes people on a lot more will not (e.g. where the potential recipient can immediately return to work/claim benefits). Also, it can vary based on how many children there are. A couple with one child might find SM is more likely than a couple with three on the same income. Why? Because the payer with three children will already be paying a lot more CM and therefore won't have as much available to pay SM (and the recipient will also have less need).

Returning to the OP's situation, it is normally best to sell and split if possible. A house can be kept for the children until they turn 18 but this is rarely affordable, especially when SM cannot be ordered to help pay the mortgage (the non-occupying spouse can claim occupational rent which tends to net off their share of the mortgage payment).

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