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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

He's trying to dictate how and where I see our teenage boys

3 replies

Alicew00 · 05/10/2023 16:51

They've both (13+15) been living with him for just over a year now and he hasn't let them stay over once since this. We both have equally rights to see them no parent has custody over the other. My son wanted to stay on Christmas eve last year but he said they had plans. Later turns out they were just at home doing the same thing. He uses the excuse that I'm going to let them out and they'll get someone pregnant but that's bill crap!!!!

He doesn't let them out to see their friends. He leaves them home while he works 6 days a week in holidays. He won't let them have family days out with my family. And now to top it off he's trying to get my family to be racist towards to him but we are not racist!! Just so he can get full custody. And I asked my 13 year old if he was coming to see me and his aunties and cousins on Saturday he said no cause dad said no I can take them to town for a few hours or nothing!!!
My family have done nothing wrong but because our culture is different all we do is sit and drink tea whilst they play with their cousins and talk with us too about school, hobbies, life etc.
I m so sick of it. I can't afford court fees. My eldest is 16 soon and apparently they can do what they want when they're 16 but it doubt they will be able to. Plus they are so on their dads side. No matter what I say they laugh at me and say stop making a big deal.
Should I even bother? Their poor little sister is always begging to see them but they aren't bothered.
It's draining me.

OP posts:
Embarrassednamechangeadoddle · 05/10/2023 18:57

If the boys themselves aren’t asking to spend more time with you then I think you’ll struggle to move it forward. Their opinions will/should have weight at their ages.

If the boys want to spend more time with you and there is no court order and you have Parental Responsibility then just tell dad that’s what is happening. How can he stop it?

Have you tried mediation.

RowenaEllis · 05/10/2023 18:59

Court is a waste of time and money at that age. I'm sorry you're going through it.

SawX · 05/10/2023 19:03

Are the boys happy with arrangements? Is there a court order? Does your daughter have a different father?

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