I'm in an absolute mess of a situation and can't see how to get out of it. Split with my exH in 2020. His choice and he moved out (although I also felt the same way). He owns the house outright and is the only one named on the deeds/mortgage. We have been divorced since December 2022. I stayed in the marital home with the children and have the right to stay here until the house is sold (he got all of the cash in the divorce and my share was all from the sale of the home so I do not have any funds until the house is sold). We have a buyer and the sale is going through at the moment but my Ex has dragged his feet on everything and so it is taking a long time. He has moved on and brought another house with his girlfriend and they have started a new life about 30 minutes away.
In April 2022 I applied and was granted a non-molestation order against him due to his bullying of myself in the home and the affect this had on our DD17 and DS13. During the divorce proceedings the judge was very strict about dates he would be allowed to attend the house to sort his stuff out - he was to be allowed 4 days and the final day 5 days before completion - this was due to the non molestation order being in place. He did not efficiently use these dates, he would come and take 2 boxes at a time and nothing really got sorted.
Unfortunately the non-mol ran out in April 2023 (never in my worst nightmares did I think I would still be in the house after that point but here we are). At first things were pretty quiet, he was careful in his behaviour, only attended the house to pick up our son and usually with his Girlfriend present. As the sale of the house draws nearer his behaviour is again escalating. For the past few weeks he has taken to turning up at the house 1/2 days per week under the guise of sorting stuff out, however, he does very very little, he gets his laptop out and sits in the kitchen working for up to 6 hours at a time. I work from home so am also usually here. Maybe he will take 1-2 boxes from the garage and wastes time with things such as changing lightblubs (that I have replaced) for other ones, he even changed the pull cord that you use to turn the light on in the downstairs toilet. He also has drilled big holes in the wall to try and remove a cable from the wall which you can get on ebay for £4. the holes still remain.
In June my DD17 and I went on holiday. He used this as an opportunity to attend the house most days, again did not sort any of his stuff out but inspected every inch of the house and came up with a list of areas in the house he feels I have damaged. The house has never been in a good state of repair, he did everything himself and every job was left unfinished. This list includes things such as a tree dying in the garden, scuffs on the wall in the hallway (which hasn't been decorated for 10 years), some paint rubbed off the handrails up the stairs, and some pulls in the carpets from our cats (cats which he gave permission for our daughter to have and I never wanted). He is now trying to claim that I owe him compensation for these damaged items despite many of them being in that condition before he left and the rest being general wear and tear. The house is also sold so has no impact on him (we did have to lower the asking price but this was due to us listing the house the exact week the interest rates started rising last year).
Anyway, now he is free to come to the house he is using each visit as an opportunity to threaten me with court over this perceived damage. His very presence in the home is intimidating and uncomfortable. I had a stoke a few weeks ago and they have discovered cardio issues which I'm sure are caused by the horrific stress I have been under for so long. He knows about this and I have asked him repeatedly to consider the stress he is causing. I also have a new partner (we have been together over 18 months) and he repeatedly has demanded he is not allowed to visit me in the house and that he will get him prosecuted from trespass if he does.
He has moved on and can live a life free of me in his new home with his new girlfriend, yet over 3 years on I still can not have any control of my own living situation. I am not comfortable in my own home as he can turn up at any time. The divorce and non-molestation proceedings have cost me £45k so far and I simply cannot afford to go back to court again as he has told me he would fight a non molestation order if I applied again so would have to go to a full trial. It could be a matter of weeks until the house is sold - but it could also still fall through at any point. I am just so worn down by it all.