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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Separation

3 replies

Mbm11 · 27/09/2023 21:43

Hi, I’m trying to find out what the differences are between legal separation and divorce, mainly financially.
I’ve come to realise that I can’t carry on living with my Alcoholic husband as he is, it’s just really no life. I feel sorry that he’s controlled by this illness, but it’s starting to make me Ill and I realise I’ve got to take care of myself and for it not to take me down too. I would rather be alone than feel alone. I’m starting to look at what happens on separation, if you buy separate properties, but don’t necessarily carry on to divorce. Are the properties separately owned, what happens if you get back together, what if one of you dies (do you still get the spousal IHT exemption), and can you stay married but be legally separated for an indefinite period of time? You always like to think that things will work themselves out in the long run, but I’m trying to see where I’d stand if they didn’t work out. I’m going backwards and forwards everyday trying to make myself do something, I really need to now to try and get ‘me’ back. Any help or info anyone is able to give would be greatly appreciated, thank you

OP posts:
lljkk · 27/09/2023 21:56

No divorce means that Basically you could buy yourself a lovely home, work hard & pay lots of money for it, build up your savings, and he could come along at any time to demand a divorce & take half of all your wealth.

You deserve better. Don't stay with him because you feel sorry for him.

No divorce means he could claim all your wealth on your death & then piss it up a wall & let the home & wealth go to ruin.

Didn't Carrie Fisher talk about dating Paul Simon for 2 years, being married for 4 yrs, then dating for 2 more yrs? If you're meant to get back together then it will happen anyway.

Would he make getting divorced very difficult or could he be amicable about it?

DustyLee123 · 28/09/2023 07:19

The only way to get ‘you’ back is to divorce and be you, not a person married to an addict.

Anita848 · 13/10/2023 17:55

I know you're considering separation rather than a full on divorce right now, and that's understandable, but divorce might be better for you to help you focus on you and what you need to get back to 'you'. These free help guides might be able to help you if the costs are too much (they were for me) https://iamlip.com/
The wellbeing section might also be helpful to you to help you focus on yourself. https://iamlip.com/life-and-well-being/

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