Agreed a figure now ex wont sign consent order until we sort out other queries

[Tryingmyhardesteveryday]

Hi all,

So I have finally agreed a figure with STBXH and my solicitor has drafted up the consent order for him to approve and sign.
ive recieved an email from him over the weekend saying he wont respond untill we resolve other queries. I have minimal contact with him due to abuse during the final months of our marriage due to his drinking. These queries are not related to the finances, he wants me to call him so he can find “his peace” his words. Which I won’t be doing it is not my job to make him feel better after everything that happened.

Just when I thought things were moving forward not sure what I want from positing this I am just at my wits end and it is causing my anxiety to flare up.

I have contacted my solicitor I am assuming now that if he won’t sign it will just have to go to court?

These are classic tactics to control and manipulate you. Can you book a mediation session perhaps? You could ask to do it remotely via Zoom from separate locations so you don’t have to be in the same room as him. I would also discuss with your solicitor and have them write him a strongly worded letter.

@Mumof3confused thankyou for you reply. Unfortunately mediation isn’t appropriate for us I was already willing to try that and he would only do it if I paid for him.

I have contacted my solicitor and she is going to hopefully ring his today she is really good and get things sorted so am hoping it will move things forward just feeling drained with it all

Can you use the £500 mediation voucher provided by the government? It is not means tested.

Stick to your guns OP. Either via your solicitor or directly tell him in writing that you will not meet with him to discuss any matters.

He is chancing his luck to get you into a situation where he can “find his closure”. Which is abuser speak for having another go at you. Let him find peace with a therapist or a bottle. Even if he wanted to apologise it would be about him. He needs to accept you are done and have moved on. The end.

@LemonTT you hit the nail on the head that is exactly what he is trying to do! My solicitor has it in hand and I am awaiting an update from her hopefully later on today