Karma

[Whereisthelove2]

Does this exist? Do those who walk away from their family/abandon their children get back all of the pain they caused at some point in the future?

I’m fed up of carrying the burden of all his mistakes for years, whilst he has a fun filled life of freedom and no responsibilities! Doesn’t hardly see the children for years, now wants to, and has the cheek to accuse me of stopping the children seeing him when they refuse to go with him! And on top of that he doesn’t provide fairly for their upbringing.

Sorry for the rant..I needed to vent somewhere. But yeah Karma, does it exist? Do then eventually get what they deserve? Regret their nastiness towards us?

No

It just seem so unfair they inflict years of pain and stress to then get to go off and live this brilliant life without any responsibilities of the life before!

In my experience, not so far. He is seriously damaging his relationship with the kids so there's that. Has a new family now and doesn't seem to care one bit.

@TealSapphire That’s the same situation here too. They don’t seem to care the harm they do to their children. How far down the line are you?

No, of course it doesn’t.

Yes, I believe it’s exists.

Indeed Employer recruits through an independent £24,000 published job advert, inside of first day they are happy to apparently engage a recruitment agent for 4 weeks at £11.00 per hour netting the difference in the difference between £11ph and £24,000 pa. I’m sorry but I’ve never heard from the lying employer who posted a a fake job on indeed.

Not in that sense. They usually lose the relationship with their children, but given they don't value it much I'm not sure that counts. Depending what happens after death their may be karma on a higher level.

Stbxh has done a lot of mental damage to me and the kids. He wants 50/50 but can't cope with kids disabilities and I think it's more of an ownership thing anyway, they're HIS kids and it's HIS money and he deserves 50% of everything. He's not going to get it so there may be some karma in the outcome but in reality he'll take that out and make us pay for it all. None of this feels like winning that's for sure.

Karma exists only in our own minds and manifests as guilt, shame, regret. Some people feel these more than others and some don't feel them at all.

What you can do is work towards a place where none of his actions - past, present or future - have any bearing on you or your emotional state.

@Whereisthelove2 we split 3.5 years ago. Four kids aged 9 to 20 now.

He's repartnered and she has three kids. Ex has taken them on as his own and by all accounts is a wonderful partner and stepfather.

Meanwhile he's all but dropped our kids, tells everyone that I won't let him see them and he's 'fighting hard' for access. Absolute bullshit. I'm desperate for a break, one DS has high needs and I'm also upset for them that they feel unwanted by him.

True karma is that these people have to live with themselves forever while we can leave them. Imagine being inside their heads? Yuk.

But if it was hard to live with themselves, they wouldn’t behave as badly in the first place!

No such thing as Karma.

Sometimes shit happens to a bad person and we can enjoying thinking of it as karma. But no, it doesn’t actually exist.

Plenty of badly behaved people are perfectly happy. We might think, “karma - they missed out on a relationship with their kids”. But it’s not, because they didn’t much care about that relationship anyway.

I never have and still don't believe in Karma. However having observed my ex's shit show of a life since he left for the ow I'm starting to wonder😂.

People who believe in Karma or wish for karma conveniently forget to wonder what they did to deserve to be so badly treated, and if their cheating ex is their karma? Of.course the answer is almost always absolutely nothing ... because karma doesn't exist

No. In this life selfish behaviour is positively rewarded. The more selfish you are the happier you’ll be. Not having a conscience means you are more open to risk, likely to put your own happiness first, don’t suffer from guilt and are more likely to therefore attract luck and fortune. It also gives you confidence to ask for and get what you want and make bold decisions that benefit you in the end.

sorry, quite the opposite. If you want to be happy be selfish. Like your x.

Thanks for all of the replies and your experiences of this…

i do hope karma exists but like somebody else questioned - I do wonder what I did to deserve all of this, it’s been awful.

i don’t understand how some men can go off and live their lives without a care in the world,

@exDHisatwat love your name!

I’ve just found out DH is cheating. I did nothing to deserve this, and I’m sure he’ll find someone fairly quickly after I’ve kicked him out. Don’t think he’ll get the karma he deserves for turning my life upside down.

It’s much easier when you don’t share children, but the best you can do is distance yourself from him and his life. That’s what I’m planning to do once I get divorced, maybe also move somewhere new to have a fresh start.

Karma will come for him so don’t worry. It may be years down the line but it’ll come x

A slight U-turn on my previous message, but my favourite phrase at the moment is this:

'Wherever you go, there your are'

It means that you can blame your circumstances on other people, go around being mean and selfish and think it's everyone else's fault, but ultimately you have to live with yourself.

You can never run away from yourself.

If you are to be truely happy, you need to love the person that looks back at you from the mirror. Not in a narcissitic egotistical way, but in a genuine, honest way.

You have to be able to own up to your own shortfalls, and take responsibility for your life. That's the only way to grow and improve. If you don't cross examine that person in the mirror once and a while, then all sorts of negative emotions and motivations can start to take over - envy, jealousy, greed, selfishness etc.

So mean and selfish people will just go from one drama that they've created to another. One bad relationships to the next, taking their narcisistic ways with them and leaving misery in their wake.

My H is moving out on Friday. I don't hate him. Because I know that despite what he says, he's not going because our 'marriage has broken down', it's because he's an ignorant tit.

I think when I look at him: Wherever you go, there you are. You'll still be a tit in your next relationship and she'll get sick of you and leave.

He will take himself and all his bad energy with him whereas I will be left with myself - who is strong and secure and kind.

I can relate to so many of your posts, thank you for taking the time to reply and sharing your experiences. Sorry to all going through similar situations. It’s just the situation that keeps on giving!!!

@MistyBay great saying, I will remember this

My exh left me for OW more than 35 years ago . We had 3 young DC. They moved abroad . They split up and he remarried and divorced twice more . Hardly any contact with our DC and no maintenance.
He has now returned to this area not in great health and wonders why our adult DC and DGC aren’t interested!
Meanwhile I have been happily remarried for nearly 32 years .
Karma ?

@Mylovelygreendress yes! Karma 😃 Nice to hear it all worked out positively for you being happily married

Well the best karma story i have is from a friend whose cheating husband ran off with another woman. Then around 5 years later the OW decided to become a lesbian. True story. You don't get better than that.

Karma doesn't always happen imo but great when it does. Important though like others have said to be better not bitter and try to be the best version of yourself despite life's blows.

This. Exactly.

Very similar happened to my ‘father’.
Left my mother with three kids . Moved abroad and had three dcs with another woman. Did not pay any maintenance and did not keep in touch with me and my siblings despite our attempts.
Years later he became seriously ill. His partner left him and his new kids didn’t want anything to do with him.
He then tried to contact me and his siblings.
My siblings didn’t want anything to do with him.
Karma … possibly

No Karma for me. Ex cheated with several women ( there were 4 of us in the relationship at one time including his now wife). 2 kids , comfortably off, good job, happy relationship and pillar of the community. There is no justice in this world, although in the scheme of things life could be worse so I try and focus on positive things. Still grinds my gears a bit at times though when he goes out of his way to rub my nose in it.