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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Supporting DP with suicidal not yet ex-wife

26 replies

wellthatslovely · 22/09/2023 13:44

Just that really, they separated 4 years ago, been living apart for most of that, initially as a trial separation but clearly now permanent. He's been trying to get her to agree to divorce for well over a year but no luck, and he's suggested he put in a sole application, her response is to say if it wasn't for the kids (they have 50-50 custody of 2DC) she'd kill herself to solve the problem. The daft thing is, she prompted the separation by having an affair. She's apparently intimated similar before but not as explicitly as recently. He feels in a complete stalemate, he wants - needs - to move on but feels guilty for pushing it. How on earth can I support him in dealing with this?

OP posts:
wellthatslovely · 23/09/2023 14:57

@GodspeedJune I have no intention of running from him as things are now but can quite easily see how someone would think that a valid option!

@LifeExperience I am most definitely not the OW! He's been trying to agree divorce with her since well before I was on his radar!

@HamBone am pleased your Dad is still with you.

@AutumnFroglets the guilt is that he may worsen her mental health impacting her ability to care for the DC, I have no idea how he treated her in their marriage but I don't think there was anything significantly more stressful/ negative than the general breakdown of the relationship, much as much as my own marriage ended.

He has no qualms about the safety of the DC at the moment, thankfully, which makes me think it's, as a few PP have said, just emotional manipulation, esp as the affair man seems to be a very on / off thing. I don't know is she is aware of me - its possible she may know about me via DC which is why she's upping the ante in messages now and she's trying to still control DP.

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