Stbxh spent all savings during divorce

[Stepbystepfan]

My stbxh has spent all of our savings during our divorce. I thought I’d get half as detailed in our agreement but my solicitor is saying no! How is this fair, baring in mind I have spent £31 k and counting so far in a battle because he won’t let me have half. We earned the same pay as both same profession and grade and I contributed half. I’m broken as will hardly be leaving with anything as this rate since we are still battling 2 years on from divorce proceedings starting. Please help 😩

She can ask for it, but he can/will say No.

They say you should take half of all savings out of joint accounts. Now I I understand why.

Without being too personal what exactly is at stake here? Is there alot of equity in the house? Half of whatever he has squandered will be coming off of his 50%
This needs to be dealt with in court and not by some solicitor who is getting you nothing you couldn't have got yourself by self representing. Dont agree to anything. Ditch the solicitor and read up on doing this yourself

There isn’t much equity in the house, maybe £50 000 each. I have been told half of what he has spent will not be taken off his 50% as I have agreed to 50% of the house equity, car and savings. Apparently it doesn’t matter if he has spent it.

I can’t afford court. I have no more money and can’t borrow anymore.

What stage of the divorce are you now at? You sound as if it hasn't been finalised. You don't have to agree to anything whatsoever. He has been deceitful and you need to think about how you can progress from here on.
You have both paid thousands of pounds to solicitors to do precisely nothing but encourage you to battle eachother for a comparatively small amount of money. You have been very badly advised.

Mine did the same. All his savings disappeared. Said he had no savings on the form E, just the small amount of money in the current account.

You can get a forensic accountant to look in to it. This of course costs. I couldn't justify the cost so had to take it on the chin.

You can self represent and I suspect your solicitor is wrong. Until an agreement becomes binding it can still be changed.

A financial agreement will only become binding between the parties to it when it has been drawn up as a draft consent order and then approved by the court and sealed as a court order. This provides both parties with certainty and security as to future financial positions.. https://www.sadlercross.co.uk/finances-on-divorce/steps-to-take-after-reaching-a-financial-agreement/#:~:text=A%20financial%20agreement%20will%20only,as%20to%20future%20financial%20positions.

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/get-court-to-decide
There's information on wikivorce and resources at top of divorce section on here, plus CAB. You can self represent and apply to get more from the house, the running down of savings for legal costs might be considered valid but wrecking the car out of spite I expect a judge wouldn't look kindly on that. The holiday in light of that wouldn't look great foo. It's 275 pounds to apply.

How have you spent £31K on legal fees for simple assets with a 50/50 split?
I get that he offered 30, but it doesn’t take £31K for a letter saying “jog on”.
Was there ever a reason that 30% might have been a reasonable offer? (large deposit from him)

Do you actually have a Consent Order, finalised by the court? It sounds like it?

Threads like this make me so grateful for having had an amicable divorce.

I'm nosy so would like to see breakdown of how that £31k was spent. Only if you can bear to share, though.

@Stepbystepfan When I got advice before I started the divorce process they told me to talk half our savings straight away - do not wait -

What did your solicitor say at the beginning of the divorce process in the advice that they gave ? I am very surprised they did not tell you to take it straight away - before he had a chance to spend it all ?

Did you not look at your joint account regularly? It is one of the first things I did . Took half of any savings and put it in my sole account.

If you took legal advice straight away , it seems pretty negligent of your solicitor to not have advised this or apply for a freezing order. I hate to say it but I believe he can do this as it was a joint account, equally you could also have emptied it.
Sorry you are being shafted like this. Obviously he has no concern or conscience for you or the kids to do this . And going PT means his CM will be pretty low too. Make sure that if you ever know he changed jobs , gets more income that you apply for CM to be adjusted.

Wait, can we come back to this?

You haven’t been to court at all, and if he only agreed to 50% 2 weeks ago, there’s no way in hell that you have a Consent Order sealed by the court making that legally binding. It is possible to prepare a Consent Order with both parties signing to say they’ve reached agreement. BUT that agreement would easily be over-ridden by it being agreed without full facts - e.g. that he’d spent £40K of the savings.

So what have you actually done?
What have you spent £31K on?
Why not make a new proposal?

Court will only cost £275 for the application fee if you represent yourself. That’s what I’m doing. I have zero funds to pay a solicitor but equally don’t want to get shafted on the divorce settlement. A judge will be fair. I’m a very shy, introverted person but am bloody doing it to make sure it is fair!

It’s shit but if it happens it can cost more to recover the money.

dh’s ex did similar- she had an affair so over the course of a year she remortaged and moved/spent all their savings.

it did go to court but the judges said she couldn’t afford to pay it back without selling the house and affecting the children. Same with the car, didn’t have to pay half as she needed it for the children.

if someone has no morals it’s surprising what they can get away with.

You've got two options.

1. Go to court, find the money for that, get half of assets in a hopefully fair settlement where the judge takes into account your STBXH malicious spending and which hopefully at least covers the money you've already spent.

1. Walk away with nothing but a 31k debt/loss.

There is zero point spending money getting your solicitors to "agree" things with STBXH solicitors, when those solicitors can't enforce the "agreement". By the way, your STBXH doesn't and never has agreed, all he's done is spend all the savings money and waste you're wages money on solicitors costs just because he could and because he wants to hurt you. This is why the advice in divorce is to immediately take half the savings and put it into an account in your sole name, whilst it's in joint names either party can extract it or spend it, assets aren't frozen and ring fenced until the divorce settlement is reached, as you've found out.

At the moment you're picking option 3. Bang your head against the wall whilst inserting bank notes into the nearest drain. Please stop.