Nursery fees

[Kittylm90]

Hello,

Newly single mum here, looking for some advice please 🙏🏻

Waiting to hear back from child maintenance, but maybe someone would be able to give me some clarity/real experience in the mean time.

• my ex partner will have our child (who is under 1 year) x2 nights a week and those days she will go to nursery

• I am working on both those days aswell as an additional day where my family member will be looking after our child free of charge.

• I have had to go back to work for only 3 days to facilitate childcare, where as my ex has not had to take this pay cut, knowing I have sacrificed a full time wage to look after our child.

• my question is how is nursery cost shared? Surely it is not all my responsibility? ( I know I will be offered 85% child care support). However, I am struggling to understand how the remaining 15% should be paid by me, given all of the above.

Any light shed on my situation would be wonderful.

Thanks!

Well legally, assuming you are not married, he’s only responsible to pay cms and nothing else

have you asked him about this? Are you getting benefits as you only work 3 days ?

He pays for his childcare on his days. You do the same.

Ideally yes but that’s not a legal position

My childcare bills are £2k a month due to having twins. There is no legal obligation to force their dad to pay a penny of it

So he has to pay for nursery then? Good news OP 👍

He doesn’t have to!
if he agrees great
if he doesn’t he doesnt- nothing you can do

It's not Ops job to arrange and pay for childcare on his days.

Unfortunately my ex is very unreasonable and was an abusive partner.

I agree it shouldn’t be my job to pay for his childcare on his days.

Unfortunately, we visited and enrolled my daughter when we were together and I had just been employed on a part time basis which worked around her nursery days. I work Monday- Wednesday. She has nursery Monday and Tuesday and my mum has her Wednesday.

He has threatened to take her to a different nursery on his days if it doesn’t fall on her nursery days which he said I would not have a say on or even relationship with the staff, which I have said no to as she is 10 months old and it would not be in her best interest. He just wants to be as difficult as possible.

Well

legally he’s only required to pay you cns so any agreement to also contribute to nursery fees is just that - an agreement to as he won’t be legally compelled to

he can and does have the right to organise childcare on his days using parents/childminder/ different nursery if he wishes and he’d obviously have to sort and pay for that

have you got. Child arrangement order in place at sll which lays out days etc or are you trying g to solve without that currently? If you can’t agree you may want to consider this but there are pros and cons as with anything else

you have to stop thinking of her as YOUR daughter as she’s also your exes and he does and should get a say

I absolutely know he has a say, he just has no interest in being reasonable.

He had a say when we organised child care together and now wants to change the goal post to take our daughter to nursery where he is saying I will not be aware of/ have any communication with and they will solely deal with him.

He has had a say when refusing to see his daughter on days he has previously agreed on but twisting it and saying I am stopping him seeing her when he demands a visit at a drop of a hat.

Don’t you be concerned that he has no say, it seems that he is controlling everything with abusive communication and threats.

Thanks for your input though, but I will not be bullied or abused whilst my ex uses our daughter as a pawn.

You asked a question re fees which has been answered

as hard as it is it best to try to reach agreement on access/days/monies

I did ask about fees, yes.

Thanks for the information that relates to my OP.

However, I am simply answering your below statement :
“you have to stop thinking of her as YOUR daughter as she’s also your exes and he does and should get a say”

As that was not.