I’m 54 and have been married for 23 years to a lovely man 12 years older than me. We get on well but our marriage has been sexless for the last 20 years; my fault, not his, as I just don’t feel any physical desire towards him. I thought that maybe I was asexual despite enjoying sex in my earlier relationships. He retired several years ago and has an active social life but over the last few years I’ve realised that we have little in common other than our DSs and home. We tend to socialise separately and with different friends and tbh I have felt like we are living parallel although harmonious lives. A combination of factors including approaching retirement, the menopause (I take HRT), my kids reaching their 20’s & the premature death of couple of my peer group have caused a lot of reflection over the last few months. Earlier this year I had a brief but intense affair with a much younger colleague which has made me realise that I am still very much a sexual being and the thought of staying in my marriage and never experiencing a physical/sexual relationship again makes me feel very depressed. My dilemma is whether to leave a long, perfectly fine but sexless marriage, causing distress to my husband and family or seize the day in a YOLO fashion and risk leaving to be by myself but with the potential of maybe meeting someone else in time.
Would appreciate any advice anyone can offer. Thanks