Child arrangements question

[Kettletoast]

If a dad only wants EOW contact and one dinner in the intervening week - there is no way of forcing MORE contact - is this right?

Court dont have the power to order more contact?

Yes, you can’t force contact.

Of course not.

Has he given reasons why he wants this amount of contact?

If it's not 50/50 he will then have to pay child maintenance. Not that this makes up for lack of time spent with the other parent for the children.

No they can't force more. They may express their disapproval

Course it’s right. If contact could be forced there’d be far fewer deadbeats. But who’d want a child to be forced to spend time with someone who didn’t want them?

They won’t disapprove at all don’t be silly

It is an interesting question.

What would happen if both parents said they only want EOW how would the court act then.

I meant their disapproval that the other parent wants minimal/no contact. Have you ever been in family court? The judges aren't shy of giving their opinion.

Yeah. It's unbelievable that there's always this expectation that people like that can just expect the other parent to do everything and there's no way to challenge it.

Eow and 1 night a week is very very standard contact. In fact probably the most common. I know someone whose ex took her to court for 2 hours a fortnight and no the judge didn’t ‘disapprove’ I wouldn’t call every other weekend and 1 night a week “no contact” either it’s very much the norm.

You’re dead right. It is outrageous that one person is left (almost always the woman) with the bulk of childcare responsibilities.

This

I just don't understand how it would work if both parents are working, before separation they work as a team for the family.

One person leaves for whatever reason. Then expects maybe the person who is part time to pick up the pieces when they work full-time and pay a little bit of CMS.

It is unfair. The person working part-time will really struggle while the other person can just say I can't share childcare because I have work commitments x

You seriously think judges don’t despise dead beat parents who only want a contact arrangement that suits them and don’t make the best interest of their kids their highest priority? Guess you don’t know too many judges, I have had some very interesting conversations. Trust me selfish parents, usually dads, are loathed and looked on with scorn by most people who have to deal with them professionally but obviously as professionals people keep their opinions to themselves.

OK, So both parents can't agree so go to court.
They tell the judge they both need to work full-time to afford to live.

One parent can do 50:50 week on week off. The other parent can only do end of week (could do more but wants the easy life).

A judge can't force either parent to do anything.

So how do they move forward.

I always used to think that such battles were about Mum and Dad both wanting to see the children more, but they're more likely to be negotiating to have the children less.

child care is not a reason to not work full time
and working full time is not a barrier to childcare

of course some roles /industries are harder than others but people need to adapt and change to accommodate

If the parents cannot provide care for the child then presumably the child will be taken into care. But of course one of the parents (almost always the mom) won’t let that happen so she is left to find a way to make it work.

There was a recent thread about a separated couple, the woman had a new job that involved shifts - trying to arrange a visiting schedule with the added complication of irregular hours was practically impossible. Page after page of posters who couldn't think of a solution.