How did you pay for divorce costs?

[CinnamonApplePie]

Hi,

My divorce has been going on a long time now and I’ve paid some costs from my salary but have also put some on an interest free credit card (£12k approx). I don’t receive any child support and am tired of the whole divorce (emotionally, as well as financially) so I’m going to accept his offer (which is a lower division of the assets) as I want to be able to move on with my life.

I’m definitely going to have to sell the family home. He wants 50% of the sale. I can’t afford to buy him out and it’s too big anyway.

As I’m probably going to need a £50k mortgage, to buy somewhere else, I’m wondering what to do about the £12k I owe on a credit card and I’m starting to fret about it. The interest free period runs out September 2024. Not sure I can pay it back within the year as I’m still paying monthly solicitor fees of £300-£800 a month plus paying for all bills/maintenance on the family home (plus have the kids without child support).

Can I ask what others did??

Ive never had credit card debt before (I’m 51) and worried over it. I don’t want to end up paying massive mortgage repayments and end up with no life.

Anyone?

im at a loss🤷🏼‍♀️, our divorce cost us £1400 in total including both solicitor bills and court costs . I used ADVICE NOW guides and we did it diy, and forced it to be amicable despite me divorcing on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. We divorced in mid 2021, just before law changes.

tbh, the time for wondering how to afford it is long gone. I struggle a lot with understanding people who’ve racked up such big bills. I know it happens and I realise if there’s abuse involved it’s some times unavoidable. But all too often people jump in with solicitors and adversarial processes and refuse to realise that battling on and on won’t leave them better off. They don’t stop to think that solicitors will cost ~£3.50 for every minute they’re doing anything with your case, even pushing paper around. And they don’t inform themselves and educate themselves on the process and how fair settlement really works, nor accept the reality that BOTH parties will end up worse off whatever happens, until too late

sorry, this sounds very judgmental on you- I realise it’s not helping solve your issue now. - I’m more saying it on the board as a warning for others coming on here. I keep harping on about ADVICE NOW and getting yourself informed before going to solicitors and running up these sorts of debts . It is such a fecking waste of your time and money, and leads to more stress. I wish I had a magic wand for you to wind time back and say stop- use these guides first

Wow, it cost HOW MUCH?!

I can't even remember how much mine cost, but it was in the hundreds, and I'm talking similar cost to drafting a will, so nowhere near £500.

The only people that gain from these sorts of divorces are the solicitors.

Mine was over £29k and my husband's was more. My solicitors but a charge on the house and I paid at the end from my share of the settlement.

I am mid divorce and so far have spent £42,000 with no end in sight. I think I'm being screwed over by my solicitors.
Sorry you're going through it too, OP

It isn't as easy as all that when say one party refuses to provide any information and keeps postponing court when you're already paid the Barrister etc. It soon adds up and is hideous.

Gosh solicitors cost so much. I don't understand why sometimes, it's not right. Although having a solicitor is great, I couldn't keep mine (both lack of funds and mine was not very good at getting things/moving in the divorce), so I had to use whatever resources I could find. See if maybe these might help you cut down on costs. Use mumsnet as there's a lot of good advice here and you can get answers to questions you have rather than asking your solicitor first. Same with facebook divorce groups, I joined a bunch and they offer great advice there - they might be able to point you to where you need to go to get some more help.
I also used this - https://iamlip.com/ - it's a bunch of free help guides that take you through the entire process. I used it without a solicitor which was fine as I just followed the help guides and read the explanations/guidance on the website about the things I didn't understand, but my friend used it and had a solicitor too. She just used the help guides to do a lot of it herself e.g. filling out forms rather than asking her solicitor do it and saved a lot. Hope these suggestions can help!
Wishing you and your children the best xxx

I know the solicitors are screwing both of us over. I’m worried about it as I will only have so long to pay a mortgage once I get a new one.
Hats off to anyone who has done it themselves. I thought I’d be offered more with a solicitor but haven’t been. I now have to pay this back 😢.

My marriage cost £50 in a registry office!!

My solicitor has sent a few bills of £900 a month for just ‘catching up’ on my case!!!

One of my colleagues used to work for a solicitor and said that’s what they do. They screw people for money.

I haven’t officially accepted the offer but can’t carry on paying ridiculous sums to a solicitor. They’ve also told me it’ll take another year!!! Do you think I can take this to court myself?

That’s horrendous!! What is the hold up?

I put it on various interest free credit cards, and paid some from salary. Eventually, I consolidated everything and got a loan. My exH continually delayed everything, refused to give information and his solicitors picked petty fights, it wasn't my choice to go all the way to the doors of the court for a final hearing. Where he backed down completely, and I got what we'd been asking for 🙄

I very fortunately didn't have to apply for a mortgage though. And then a wonderful family member gave me enough to pay off the loan.

There should be sanctions on parties to divorce who obfuscate and delay proceedings (as part of a pattern of abuse in the marriage, in my case. Arse.)

I did my own (and it was a high conflict divorce), represented myself in court. The mental cost was horrendous though. The only financial costs were photocopying and posting. There is no way I would have afforded representation. I did get the outcome I wanted. In your situation, I'd probably borrow a little more to clear the debt as ultimately that would work out cheaper. I hope this ends for you soon.

He is refusing to provide any information!

Sorry you went through this too. I am in the midst of it all, abuse and coercive control and he's ignoring all court / legal requests for into. He's rich but stopped giving me a penny when the divorce process commenced. I imagine he's trying to hide all his assets

Hi,

I’ve put most costs on interest free credit cards and used salary but was expecting a better outcome than what I’ve been offered. Trouble is, the whole thing has taken its toll on my emotional health and I want to draw a line under it all. However, doing this will, of course, mean that I’ll need to get a mortgage (which will reduce my disposable income substantially) and the pay the credit cards back which will reduce my disposable income even further. I am also paying for everything for my daughter as he hasn’t paid any CM. I have also had the burden of maintenance costs on the family home. This last month I have spent £350 getting a tree taken down, £127 having the gutters cleaned and £60 to repair a leak (all they did was change a washer in the attic). Next door house is empty as elderly couple had to move into a old people’s village so I’m also stuck with paying for garden maintenance on the massive drive (big bush along side a shared drive). They had sold the house but it fell through.

So, I’m trapped in a position where I can’t afford to continue so know he will get the lion’s share of the pot. It has been constant nit picking from each solicitor (to make them money).

I feel sick about it all as I paid most of the mortgage as I earned most (I also did overtime which went in as overpayment on the mortgage). I paid the family home off in 15 years. This, of course, isn’t taken into consideration!!!

Solicitor reckons it will take another year (if it goes to court) and another £6k at least!! I could lose even more.

I really don’t know what to do. I have an interview tomorrow (first of 3) to get a higher paid role which also means I’d have to leave the area (with my daughter) - he doesn’t know this but he’s forcing me into it!

Mine took 5 years and cost in the region of £55k, I had to drag him to the doors of the court to get a fair settlement but I did it because he lied and lied about everything even in mediation. Annoyingly no one seems to care when people lie to the court in divorce proceedings! Anyway, I paid what I could and ended up owing around £15k once I got the settlement through. I was fortunate that mine let me run up the debt as they knew I'd pay when it was finished.