Child Arrangements

[Runningfromthefuture]

NC but regular poster

I need of some advice. My ex and I separated and although things were quite harmonious to start it became really difficult and we got a Child Arrangement Order a year ago.

Our relationship was very difficult at times - lots of horrible text messages and volatile arguments. My new partner and I are getting married next year and have a two year old. My previous relationship we have two children.

My ex partner has slightly more custody than me on a 60:40 basis as they targeted me for the CAO when I was unwell and manipulated me so I agreed before it went to court as I was scared.

My ex has now said they (and his new partner) plan to move the boys over an hour away and they have said I’ll still get the contact I have but in my mind and having discussed it previously we were working towards 50/50 contact.

I’m thinking of going back to court and getting it all looked at again now im in a much better place as I really want the two to have a bond with their sibling and it just won’t happen with them so far away. I also want an active role in their lives on an equal basis. My proposal has been to look at options for school etc somewhere in the middle between us both and that way it won’t hinder mine or their siblings contact.

I really don’t know what to do. He is telling me I’ve no chance of changing anything or stopping him as he’ll use all the last messages against me which shop I’m a terrible mom anyway apparently. They may show I was a terrible partner - they don’t show Im a terrible mom. I’m also in a very good place now and healthy and well.

Please could anyone order any advice?

thank you

Anyone?

I’m a little confused. Are the children already at school? Are you wanting to move them to a school in the middle or are you wanting them to move to a school 30 mins away rather than 60 mins away? How old are they children?

Travelling half an hour to school.and not being with friends as a compromise doesn't seem fair on the kids
Are they old enough to have a say?

What is the day pattern

The children are 6 and 7. One has specific needs hence the need for travel to a specific type of school being 30 mins away in the middle as it’s likely he will need to travel quite far anyway.

Apolgise I wasn’t clear. We currently all live within the same location about 5 minutes from each other so they see their sibling all the time popping in etc.

This. Going to a local school is much better for the children.

You can get a prohibitive steps order to stop the DC being removed from their current schools.

I have debated this. Is it likely to be something that will have any impact or be granted just based upon this limited information?

Sorry my head is all over the place and I haven’t really been clear in my posts but thanks for the advice. Its all a bit of a shock as I say I thought we were building up contact.

I think it would be granted. Those with PR both have to give consent.

I would tell their school and the LEAs involved that you do not give consent to a change of schools.

You can't stop them moving but you can do that which means they are more likely to stay closer than an hour.

Thank you

How do I do that?

Do what?

Apply for a prohibitive steps order?

Presumably download the court forms, fill in and submit.

Notify the LEA? Call up ask who you need to notify and put it in writing and copy in their current school.

I would do both.

Thank you! You’ve been so helpful I appreciate it

This might help you figure out how to do it - scroll down to where it talks about a prohibited steps order. It says there to use Form C100 and has another link to the help guide on the website explaining how to do Form C100. Hope this can help! https://iamlip.com/different-types-of-child-arrangement-court-orders-explained/
Here's the form C100 help guide link too https://iamlip.com/the-main-forms-you-will-need-in-the-court-process-for-child-arrangements/form-c100/

Thank you. I hugely appreciate all the help! I think that’ll give me some breathing space.