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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce regret maybe

1 reply

Senoj1 · 09/09/2023 10:18

Hello. I'm a first time user so not sure of the ropes. It took me ages to find a user name that hadn't been taken. I would really like to hear your thoughts or even better your own experiences. I divorced my husband 6 years ago after being together 30 years. Until I left him I always thought I loved him but I had been depressed living in a place I hated and the neighbours were awful. But the main reason was my husband was getting into arguments with my teenage son and I became frightened that my son would leave home as soon as he could and I would lose him.

So I left and took my children with me and started proceedings. I know my husband was really upset about it and it felt as if my world had fallen apart but I was glad to get out. As time went on I'm not sure if I started to have second thoughts but sometimes we would talk almost like in the old days. But I thought I can't turn back now because I'll look stupid. One day he suggested getting back together and I laughed at him. So it came to the decree nisi and it was like there was a part of me that thought it would never happen.

It's been 3 years since then. He's living quite a distance away and seems to be happy with his life although I think he's still hurt from things my children tell me. Things in my own life are OK but not great except I still have the children all the time. Our lives are much the same as it used to be except he's not part of it. I make a point of not thinking about him as much as possible. What's done is done. But there's a part of me that thinks i got rid of not just a husband but my best friend and it's hard to put a positive gloss on it.

Am I the only one who feels like this?

OP posts:
Optomystic · 09/09/2023 21:14

hi @Senoj1 I saw you on a thread today earlier and wanted to respond as was sad to see no replies. I don’t have any advice as I am just embarking on my own separation whereas you are much further along the line. It’s understandable that you are second guessing your decisions but you must remember that at the time you were happy to get out. I am pretty certain that the feeling to separate would have been pressing against you constantly and to this day had you not ripped off the plaster. Perhaps you have just not managed to fill the void. It might just take a new partner to do it. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? If you still have DCs at home then you should still have time to meet someone else and you may feel more like getting out there as they get more independent.

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