I need advice about my husband, we have been together a long time but since having a child he is not the same person, he has admitted that he has done nothing for several years for our child or around the house, recently he had grabbed me causing bruises on my arms, he has pushed me before but keeps telling me “don’t make out that I beat you”, he has very bizarre behaviours where he hides things and then lies about them, he tells me he still cares but has told me “where am I going with the assault case” he can give me an easy divorce or make it difficult, he’s told our child he doesn’t care about him and isn’t interested in him but then says this is to annoy me, he criticises everything I do but tells me he didn’t know he does that and will try to work on it, he blames me for everything, it’s my fault he chooses to stay in bed both days at the weekend instead of getting up and taking our child to his club or getting up to make breakfast, I have asked him to get up one day at the weekend and make one meal a week and he told me he’s “overwhelmed “ doing this, he tells me the house is a shithole and I should be ashamed, it’s not a sh£thole, but he does nothing and expects it to be like a show home, he tells me I’m vindictive because I wash our child’s school clothes on a Friday before he comes home, I thought I was just washing things, he takes vegetables out the fridge that are for pets because the fridge isn’t for the pets, he used to take turn about to pay for food but then decided he wasn’t paying for things if I eat them, there are endless bizarre behaviours hiding the wifi router or throwing things out then lying about it
he tells me he still cares and wants to try again but still tells me I’m wrong for contacting the police after he had grabbed me, I apparently knew he would react like that and I knew he would need to leave the house , I couldn’t know that’s what would happen , he still can’t see it’s wrong to grab me
no one knows what’s been going on and I really don’t know how to talk to anyone about it
he says we need to draw a line and forget the past and never bring it up , do not deal with it , I’ve told him he needs help, he said he’ll go if I go with him, I highly doubt he’ll go