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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Am I legally bound money back

28 replies

Daviebear · 06/09/2023 19:59

My wife was given money from her aunt to buy a house out right at a time we had fallen out and she went to lawyer and he told her to say we had split up before she signed for the house so I wasn't entitled to anything.
We got back together a couple of months ago and I have put all my life savings into buying stuff for this new house as it needed decorated from top to bottom, this might be a coincidence or not but I have nothing left to spend on the house and at the weekend there I had a confrontation with her coke addict brother who seems to have more say on what's going on than I do, I've been told we are over as she's took his side and I'm back at parents staying, do I have a legal claim for half of the house if we divorce as it's in her name or just for the money I've put into the house? Or do I stand to get nothing?
No kids are involved

OP posts:
Tosca23 · 06/09/2023 22:33

Whose name is the house in? How long have you been married for?

Dartmoorcheffy · 06/09/2023 22:37

You need to get back to a solicitor ASAP. I imagine the house is in her name only. You will need to prove you had got back together since she bought the house. My ex tried something similar by say8ng we had been separated but living under the same roof for years. His declarations of undying love on Facebook for me came in very handy in the divorce.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 06/09/2023 22:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Daviebear · 07/09/2023 01:18

I've got the screenshots of her messages proving we were back together, I've got pics of us on a family holiday, I've got receipts of the stuff I've bought for the house, I've took pictures of myself in the house, we have been married for 19 months

OP posts:
Original poster
Daviebear · 07/09/2023 01:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

No she never applied for divorce as she didn't want one, she just had a lawyers letter saying we broke up on a certain date and the marriage was over but my lawyer replied saying that I didn't think the marriage is over and don't accept we have broken up and am looking for marriage counseling

OP posts:
Original poster
Daviebear · 07/09/2023 01:22

Tosca23 · 06/09/2023 22:33

Whose name is the house in? How long have you been married for?

House is in her name, married for 19 months been together for 7 years

OP posts:
caringcarer · 07/09/2023 01:40

Married 19 months is a very short marriage. You'd probably be entitled to the amount of money you.dpent on the house back. You have receipts so it shouldn't be a problem. If she had letter stated marriage was over before buying house you'd have to check with your solicitor. I don't think you'd be entitled to half of the house in such a short marriage as Nd time you were together before marriage won't count. Plus if you broke up for some of time during this 19 months that might also be taken into account.

Helpwhatwouldyoudonext · 07/09/2023 01:44

No-one on here can really help you - if you were my friend I'd say get legal advice to make sure there is fairness ( in case this is a reverse, just wondering...also Full Stops are so useful in a massive paragraph - reread your writing and put one where you breathe).

VioletPickles · 07/09/2023 01:48

Did you contribute to the purchase of the house financially? Or pay a proportion of the mortgage? Could you come up with a settlement figure that you’d be happy with to avoid lawyers/court fees?

Tosca23 · 07/09/2023 10:36

Daviebear · 07/09/2023 01:22

House is in her name, married for 19 months been together for 7 years

Show quote history

If you were living together for 7 years prior to marriage that could be taken in to account in my experience of divorce, Does the Length of Marriage Affect my Divorce? - Lindsay Jones (lindsayjonesdivorcelawyer.co.uk) so that is worth mentioning to a solicitor if that is the case. If dating only, then 19 months is a very short marriage.

If short marriage, from what I have read it wouldn't be anything like 50: 50 split, but if living together way before, then the situation may be different. Usually inheritances when married are considered joint marital pot money when a long marriage. However, in very short marriage it may be different, you really need to speak to a good lawyer. Info online seems to say if short marriage, they look at what position both were in at start - and what you each contributed at the outset to the assets. Did you live together prior to marrying? If so, for how long?

I have one friend who had a short marriage and she ended up giving her ex 20k to go away, whereas her assets are probably nearer to 700k.

My personal experience of divorce lawyers is that generally they are not very good at giving strategic advice unfortunately, so you may want to speak to a few.

Does Length of Marriage Effect Divorce Settlement | Divorce-Online

Does Length of Marriage Affect Divorce Settlement?

There are various different factors that can affect financial order decisions used to set out the financial arrangements between the two divorcing parties (known as the divorce settlement). But does…

https://www.divorce-online.co.uk/blog/does-length-of-marriage-affect-divorce-settlement/

frazzledasarock · 07/09/2023 10:44

Speak to a solicitor.

But also why do you want half the house and not the money you invested in redecorating it back? Its not been the family home as she got it during your 'break' and you've been married 19 months with no DC.

Speak to a solicitor and see what they say. Wanting half the value of a home you haven't bought yourself and haven't even lived in for long is incredibly unreasonable.

Original poster
Daviebear · 07/09/2023 11:59

VioletPickles · 07/09/2023 01:48

Did you contribute to the purchase of the house financially? Or pay a proportion of the mortgage? Could you come up with a settlement figure that you’d be happy with to avoid lawyers/court fees?

Her aunt sold her house and gave my wife the money to buy our house, there is no mortgage

OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 07/09/2023 13:30

If you were living together for 7 years prior to marriage that could be taken in to account in my experience of divorce
Not could, will. Definitely.

Tosca23 · 07/09/2023 15:04

frazzledasarock · 07/09/2023 10:44

Speak to a solicitor.

But also why do you want half the house and not the money you invested in redecorating it back? Its not been the family home as she got it during your 'break' and you've been married 19 months with no DC.

Speak to a solicitor and see what they say. Wanting half the value of a home you haven't bought yourself and haven't even lived in for long is incredibly unreasonable.

It is about what people are legally entitled to, nothing more, nothing less. Having kids or not, is not really what this is about.

ZebraD · 07/09/2023 15:11

My ex husband didn’t live with me for years but pretended he did so he could get his mucky paws on my equity. He lied throughout proceedings. We were married 2 and half years and lived together just over that. We were together 6 loooong years in total. He put nothing into my house and got 37.5k. It was my house before I even met him. It’s has ruined me financially . So anything is possible in this shite corrupt legal system we have!

Original poster
Daviebear · 07/09/2023 18:33

frazzledasarock · 07/09/2023 10:44

Speak to a solicitor.

But also why do you want half the house and not the money you invested in redecorating it back? Its not been the family home as she got it during your 'break' and you've been married 19 months with no DC.

Speak to a solicitor and see what they say. Wanting half the value of a home you haven't bought yourself and haven't even lived in for long is incredibly unreasonable.

The thing is I don't want half the house but she's already bumped me before with money I have to decorate her aunt's house, I want the money I put into the house but if she tries her tricks again I just want to know if I can hit her with if ye don't give me my money I'll go for half of everything

OP posts:
Original poster
Daviebear · 07/09/2023 18:35

ZebraD · 07/09/2023 15:11

My ex husband didn’t live with me for years but pretended he did so he could get his mucky paws on my equity. He lied throughout proceedings. We were married 2 and half years and lived together just over that. We were together 6 loooong years in total. He put nothing into my house and got 37.5k. It was my house before I even met him. It’s has ruined me financially . So anything is possible in this shite corrupt legal system we have!

I don't want to ruin anyone though I just want what I put in , but she's using the I skint card just now ,

OP posts:
ZebraD · 08/09/2023 13:57

I am quite sure you’re not - it takes a special kind of someone to do that doesn’t it. But my point being that you should be safe enough to get your money back given my circumstances . I think that’s fair. I would have been happy to pay out my exH had he put in but the fact was that he didn’t. I was permanently skint the whole time I was with him. Anyways…I think you will be fine and should pursue it to get your money, it does sound like she used to for that purpose alone which is just so unkind and frankly immoral.

FSTraining · 08/09/2023 14:52

I don't think you are due nothing but also it's unlikely that you will be due half. It will depend on factors such as your respective ages, how long you have been married and your incomes. Section 25 still applies to your case and both of your needs will be considered for example, but if you're under 40, you have been married only a short time, you earn similar amounts and can both house yourselves on your incomes then you might find your share of the house is small relative to hers. In contrast, if you're both nearly retired, not earning much, married for 30 years and you are unable to house yourself on your income you might get a bigger share.

Original poster
Daviebear · 10/09/2023 15:12

ZebraD · 08/09/2023 13:57

I am quite sure you’re not - it takes a special kind of someone to do that doesn’t it. But my point being that you should be safe enough to get your money back given my circumstances . I think that’s fair. I would have been happy to pay out my exH had he put in but the fact was that he didn’t. I was permanently skint the whole time I was with him. Anyways…I think you will be fine and should pursue it to get your money, it does sound like she used to for that purpose alone which is just so unkind and frankly immoral.

Thank you 🙏

OP posts:
Original poster
Daviebear · 10/09/2023 15:18

FSTraining · 08/09/2023 14:52

I don't think you are due nothing but also it's unlikely that you will be due half. It will depend on factors such as your respective ages, how long you have been married and your incomes. Section 25 still applies to your case and both of your needs will be considered for example, but if you're under 40, you have been married only a short time, you earn similar amounts and can both house yourselves on your incomes then you might find your share of the house is small relative to hers. In contrast, if you're both nearly retired, not earning much, married for 30 years and you are unable to house yourself on your income you might get a bigger share.

I'm 45, she 38, I'm a full time carer for my mother with dementia so all this is the last thing I need, she on universal credit but also a part time cleaners job, none of us have any savings, everything put into house and the kids

OP posts:
WhamBamThankU · 10/09/2023 15:36

I don't know why you think you're entitled to anything from a house that was bought for her by her aunt while you were 'on a break'? It wasn't a gift to you both

ZebraD · 10/09/2023 19:02

WhamBamThankU · 10/09/2023 15:36

I don't know why you think you're entitled to anything from a house that was bought for her by her aunt while you were 'on a break'? It wasn't a gift to you both

Did you read it? He has put money into the house…he should get some recompense for that. He clearly doesn’t have a great deal and he isn’t asking for her inheritance jist what he out in!

greyhairnomore · 10/09/2023 19:08

@Daviebear

I'm 45, she 38, I'm a full time carer for my mother with dementia so all this is the last thing I need, she on universal credit but also a part time cleaners job, none of us have any savings, everything put into house and the kids

You said no kids. I don't think you're entitled to anything from such a short marriage.

WhamBamThankU · 10/09/2023 19:46

@ZebraD

Oh I agree with the things he has receipts for, but nothing from the house itself.

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