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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Ex took the kids passports

43 replies

Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 19:30

My ex was arrested and then bailed to another address. He was allowed back to the house accompanied by a police officer to get his things.
I have just discovered he took the children's passports.
Do I report this?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/09/2023 19:37

Hmmmm

You could report them stolen. However if he has PR presumably he has the right to keep hold of them.

Are the DC at risk of abduction?

Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 19:41

He is being investigated for coercive control.

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 06/09/2023 19:44

I would say they have been lost and apply for new ones, though it will cost you money.

BadHairBae · 06/09/2023 19:52

It's £53.50 per passport you replace. But you can literally do it now online and new ones will come pretty quick.

DS replacement passport arrived in 3 or 4 weeks.

He shouldn't have taken them, he sounds like an arse. But, if you cancel and replace them he's no longer in control of that situation, you can take it right back.

Just don't tell him they're cancelled because he'll still think he has the originals. If you tell him he could potentially do the same thing back to you which would be a nightmare.

Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:08

I don't need to use them to go abroad at the moment but needed one for ID for their nursery funding.

I suppose I'm wondering if it's more evidence of him being controlling.

I have already submitted years of evidence to the police.

OP posts:
BadHairBae · 06/09/2023 20:18

I suppose I'm wondering if it's more evidence of him being controlling.

Potentially, it would feel like that if it were me.

MintJulia · 06/09/2023 20:18

Does your ex have family abroad? Would he take the dcs or is that unlikely? Is he just trying to wind you up?

If you can afford it, I'd report all three lost, and have them replaced but as PP said, don't tell him.

Starlightstarbright2 · 06/09/2023 20:21

You can use birth certificates for ID funding - not everyone has a passport - I would definitely report them lost at least

Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:29

I don't think he would take them abroad, I think it is to wind me up and also because he likes to think he is the superior parent.

The nursery asked for photo ID but I will check, thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:31

Before he was allowed back to the house to collect his things the police asked if he might try and take anything he shouldn't and this hadn't occurred to me - I was quite stressed at the time.

OP posts:
reallyworriedjobhunter · 06/09/2023 20:32

I would cancel them, not tell him and organise the new ones and then keep them somewhere that he cannot access them - maybe at a relatives house?

Grey rock it.

reallyworriedjobhunter · 06/09/2023 20:33

I would tell the police that he took them.

Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:34

I might get my solicitor to ask for them back and report it to the police. I don't really want to have to pay for replacements.

But if he won't give them back I'll cancel them and not tell him. I hadn't thought about doing that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:35

Grey rock is hard but he isn't allowed to make any contact with me at the moment - a bail condition.

OP posts:
BodenCardiganNot · 06/09/2023 20:37

Does he not need to sign the forms for replacements?

Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:38

I think either parent can apply for a passport

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 06/09/2023 20:39

Fucking hell, I would be extremely concerned that he has the ability to take the children out of the country. Abusive men can do unspeakable things when their house of cards is falling around them. I would report them as missing/stolen immediately and apply for new ones.

Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:41

He is on bail so I don't think he would be allowed to leave the country but you are right his behaviour is highly destructive and unpredictable.

OP posts:
Sugarcube84 · 06/09/2023 20:43

will he know that you know he took them?

otherwise I’d apply for new ones and if he ever asks say silly me I’d misplaced them so I got new ones, we also only needed north certificate for child for nursery but photo ID for ourselves

Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:45

He will only know if my solicitor asks for them back via his.

It's so exhausting as it's constant. He also took the fire sticks out of the TVs - less bad 🙄

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 06/09/2023 20:47

They are his children too so why do you consider you own the passports?

I get you have issues with him but it seems people don't realise if you have children with someone they become equally entitled to some things too

viques · 06/09/2023 20:48

I think he will use having the passports as a weapon to taunt you with at some point in time. Replacing them without telling him puts the situation safely back in your hands, especially if you keep quiet about them. . And if you do get replacements ask someone who you know well to hold them for you, preferably someone he wouldn’t think of, or who he wouldn’t approach.

A nursery asking for photo ID is ridiculous btw. I understand that they are being careful but they must have a back up system for children who don’t have passports.

Original poster
Hardheadedwoman39 · 06/09/2023 20:49

I don't think I own the passports but the children are living with me in the family home and he is on police bail and under investigation.

So logically he wouldn't need them and also if he wanted to take them should have asked or let me know via his solicitor.

OP posts:
wutheringkites · 06/09/2023 20:51

WandaWonder · 06/09/2023 20:47

They are his children too so why do you consider you own the passports?

I get you have issues with him but it seems people don't realise if you have children with someone they become equally entitled to some things too

The children own their passports and they are living with the op, not their dad.

Theunamedcat · 06/09/2023 20:52

WandaWonder · 06/09/2023 20:47

They are his children too so why do you consider you own the passports?

I get you have issues with him but it seems people don't realise if you have children with someone they become equally entitled to some things too

They are the children's passports they should be with them

Abuse isn't just "having issues" with someone stop minimising

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