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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Unmarried what can he claim?

37 replies

CookieDoughKid · 05/09/2023 19:40

My partner of 16 years wants out. He had always paid half on our family home so he is entitled to 50% of that. Does he have claim to my pension? We have two teens. We are not married and don't have anything joint, no bank accounts and all assets including family home is and always been in my name.

We have one buy to let in my name that was let after we moved out. It was bought in my name only and he paid half of everything at time we lived there including mortgage. However I'm the responsible party in managing it as a rental. Again the mortgage and title is in my name only.

Where does he stand in all this, does he have claim to my pension, we have always worked and remain financially independent from each other.

OP posts:
SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 05/09/2023 22:12

I agree with above pps. Let him make a legal claim for what he thinks he is entitled to. You don't have to do anything at all.

Original poster
CookieDoughKid · 05/09/2023 22:23

The reason why his name isn't on anything is because for a very long time he wasn't able to pass credit checks. He was in a debt a long time. The current house we are in, I think it is fair he gets 50%. I wouldn't have been able to buy nor continue living here without his financial contribution. Currently we are thinking to keep the house until the children reach University at least, in a few years time.

I've a £400k pension and he's never contributed to it in any shape or form. He has a miniscule pension and more fool him there.

The main question is how much do I give him from the buy to let so he can make a fresh start and how best to manage it on going ...since I can't actually afford this current home on my own...

This new woman is very welcome to him. I'm gonna try and play it nice so that he moves out as quickly as possible. My ex had just been promoted to a C level job. I can see why someone like him would appeal to a much younger woman but honestly she can have him. He's a bottle a day alcoholic with adhd. I would even roll out the red carpet for her. Sorry that we are splitting up but not that sorry if you know what I mean.

OP posts:
Original poster
CookieDoughKid · 05/09/2023 22:24

But your right, I'll let him make the first move....

OP posts:
BranchGold · 05/09/2023 22:36

If he has a successful career now, then he can earn more money again.

Please be sensible about giving away assets. A decent pension pot of your own is a very good thing to have, but be aware of what it will realistically get you. £400k isn’t the pot of gold it can sound like in pension terms. Have you had forecasts of what the annual income will be?

Don’t be too eager to be accommodating and fair, it’s not guaranteed to be reciprocated to you, or your children. How old are the children? I think he’s obligated to provide for them until 16/18 and then it could be a full stop. Can you afford their uni education solo? He might say yes he’d chip in for it all now, but he might start a 2nd family with much younger woman and turn his back on them.

carly2803 · 05/09/2023 22:53

hes been very silly - i would say the same for a woman in this position not protecting herself

You do not owe him a penny - let him prove it or fight it.

he does 1000% not get any of your pensions etc you are not married

Starseeking · 05/09/2023 23:01

If he's just been promoted to a C-level job, he can afford a new place by himself without any handouts from you. His position is very different from a woman leaving a long-term relationship who in the majority of cases has been the lower earner and been doing bulk of childcare/domestic duties.

If you are so intent on splitting your current home 50/50 (were you married he'd most likely get far less due to the DC staying with you), I would give him nothing for the BTL.

Sell the BTL as quickly as possible, and focus on using the proceeds from that to secure yours and your DC future in your current home.

Original poster
CookieDoughKid · 05/09/2023 23:12

@starseeking can I ask if you have a legal background? I'm grateful for your advice. I do want to do what is fair but mindful that anytime, my ex could stop payments and I can't afford University solo.

@BranchGold my children are 15 and 13 so they do have a little while to go to finish their education.

OP posts:
Original poster
CookieDoughKid · 05/09/2023 23:15

@arethereanyleftatall Because my ex could never get a mortgage and always had a poor credit score. Over time I have really supported him and his mental health and he is so successful now in his new job role. A bit galling and classic isn't it.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/09/2023 23:20

CookieDoughKid · 05/09/2023 22:23

The reason why his name isn't on anything is because for a very long time he wasn't able to pass credit checks. He was in a debt a long time. The current house we are in, I think it is fair he gets 50%. I wouldn't have been able to buy nor continue living here without his financial contribution. Currently we are thinking to keep the house until the children reach University at least, in a few years time.

I've a £400k pension and he's never contributed to it in any shape or form. He has a miniscule pension and more fool him there.

The main question is how much do I give him from the buy to let so he can make a fresh start and how best to manage it on going ...since I can't actually afford this current home on my own...

This new woman is very welcome to him. I'm gonna try and play it nice so that he moves out as quickly as possible. My ex had just been promoted to a C level job. I can see why someone like him would appeal to a much younger woman but honestly she can have him. He's a bottle a day alcoholic with adhd. I would even roll out the red carpet for her. Sorry that we are splitting up but not that sorry if you know what I mean.

If you stay in your home, and have the kids he will need to pay you child maintenance which could go towards the mortgage if he's on a decent salary?

Moonshine5 · 05/09/2023 23:29

I think you are being too profligate with money. Go back over the figures and consider you and your children's future if he stopped contributing.
You sound like a lovely person; I hope it works out how you want it to

caringcarer · 05/09/2023 23:43

You can only get back bank statements for up to previous 6 years. If he's always paid half of mortgage I'd give him half of any equity but if you are looking after any DC for more than half the time I'd keep btl mortgage. You don't have to share pensions as not married. If you were married and DC will live with you more then you might have got a bit more than 50 percent of house. That's why I'd keep btl for yourself.

Original poster
CookieDoughKid · 06/09/2023 11:10

Thank you all. Your position has really made me reconsider the equity position especially that he could start a new family any time and so he could easily divert funding. Will speak to legal ASAP.

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