Hello,
I was grateful for some replies on another board, so hoped I could share here and hear some of your experiences. Please be kind, I know I don't have any particular moral high ground in this. Also English is my 2nd language.
I instigated divorce with my ex-DH a few years ago. We had been together for over 20 years and have three DC in their early 20s, 1 younger DD age 11.
We had been very close, very good friends, but always were quite different people. We are different (although culturally similar) nationalities, he moved to my country and learned my language, set up his life here.
However in more recent years I realised I could not spend the rest of my life with him. I am very ambitious, adventurous, need to be moving ahead, trying new things, living a very active life. I am more emotional and more open.
He is calm, quiet, somewhat reserved (especially for my country).
Anyway...he is in a new relationship with a woman (his nationality) with whom he was friends with before. She is about 12 years younger than him, very pretty, kind, easygoing, funny. My children really like her - well, two are very loyal to me, perhaps unfairly, but they all find her very very sympathetic, easy to spend time with.
Seeing him so relaxed and happy with this younger, more attractive woman - yes I divorced him, but I am human and I still feel sad or even a bit jealous. Like we should have divorced before, or that I am not as good in comparison.
I don't want to be with my ex-DH again, but I suppose I didn't expect him to move on and get into a serious relationship so quickly. (for visa reasons they are already living together / she has a partner visa through his citizenship, which he obtained through our marriage)
Does anyone have any advice for an irrational person stuck 'in the doldrums'?