Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

What would you do?

5 replies

singlemum93 · 04/09/2023 06:32

I feel sick to my stomach. I have a nearly 3 year old son. Me and his dad split couple of months ago because of so many reasons but basically the relationship made me miserable and he has MH issues he refuses to do anything about and he is a very angry person. I have my own home so he moved out. This wasn't a decision made lightly it had been coming and I exhausted every other option. Since he left he has given me £35 a week. I work 30 hours a week and he works a lot more and earns probably three times as much as me. At first I accepted the £35 for some reason I felt guilty as the house was mine and he had to leave. I have since brought it up again and he goes beserk but I'm always struggling. He has my son once a week usually in the day time and thats it. The one day I needed him for something this week he was sleeping with someone else and this killed me. It just made me realise how little I've meant to him and how he will drop me and my son like a hat and I've been an idiot. Anyway I'm writing this in anger but considering going to the CSA. The calculator says I would be entitled to £80 a week. I'm just stupidly feeling guilty about it without speaking to him first. Help 😩.

OP posts:
PosterBoy · 04/09/2023 06:38

Probably time to sort things out officially.

You may not end up with more money if he is vindictive. He can put more into his pension or may want 50:50 with your child instead. But at least if it's all done officially it's a 'detached' process rather than you having to be grateful for what you are given!

singlemum93 · 04/09/2023 13:32

Thank you for the advice I am slightly worried it will make him want to have our son overnight more but I also need to do what's best

OP posts:
Ariela · 04/09/2023 13:40

I would show him the CSA calculator, and say that YOUR SON needs this for x, y, z be it nursery top up, food, clothing, heating etc. Not 'I need' or 'I am entitled to' but 'Son Needs'. It's not about you, it's about your son's needs.

EmmW14 · 04/09/2023 21:08

Ah I’m so sorry. Your decision to leave sounded like the right one. Unfortunately some people do act this way towards their families after a split, but it sounds like your child is lucky to have you to care about them xx Don’t feel guilty about the other parent providing money to care for your child. They are responsible for that with you.

See if this might help you https://iamlip.com/the-process-of-child-maintenance/ it might make the process a little clearer for what to do. Wishing you the best x

The Process of Child Maintenance

The Process of Child Maintenance - I AM L.I.P

Before you read this webpage we would like to explain some words that we have used in this write up.

https://iamlip.com/the-process-of-child-maintenance/

singlemum93 · 05/09/2023 19:22

Thank you everyone for the replies

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread