Pregnant and considering leaving

[DWSDB]

I have put this on the relationship bit but not getting many responses —

When it’s good 90% of the time it’s perfect, I’ve got no complaints but when it’s bad he just turns horrible.

An argument will start over the most little thing, if we have said something with the wrong tone, if something small has happened. When it escalates he basically shouts at me then shuts me down and doesn’t allow me to talk. He tells me to shut up and that I am boring him and walks away. He tells me I am lying or twisting things when I’m not.

I am by no means innocent in this as I will become hysterical and cry and call him cold and horrible. This will go on for hours as he tells me I’m dragging it on when he’s never given me a chance to talk and walks away every time I begin talking or tells me I’m talking shit. He can sulk for ages and I sit there getting more and more upset. He has called me an attention seeker for crying before.

If I bring up im pregnant when we fight he acts like im saying it to win the argument when im just trying to remind him that it’s not okay if I get stressed.

We just argued now and I’m not sure how but after I just cried he apologised to me and told me he loves me but it’s not enough. This rarely happens I usually have to wait for him to stop sulking which isn’t okay either. It’s like he punishes me.

I don’t want my baby brought up in this environment and I don’t want this forever. We had a really long period of good before we got pregnant and discussed it at length, we didn’t do it to save our relationship as it was going really well for well over a year. He’s happy about the baby but I don’t know what’s gone wrong
I thought this stuff was over but it seems to have started again in the past few weeks.

we are tied financially and my maternity is poor. I don’t want it to end but I’m running out of options of what to do
I suggested couples councilling and it is a downright no from him. When he apologised he said we will think of some rules moving forward and stick to them but I’m so heartbroken right now I don’t see it happening.

just want to confirm we have never been violent with one another but we have both said some shitty things and I once dropped a bottle on the floor out of frustration but it was a while ago and not aimed at him and I’ve not done it since. I know it’s not okay.

It doesn't seem like this relationship is healthy for you. The way he treats you is not okay. Leaving is never easy. It takes a lot of courage but this is something you should definitely consider doing. You and your children will be better for it and I think you already know that considering you don't want the baby growing up in this environment. There are many options and resources online. Leaving sooner is better than later and will save you a lot of heartache down the road. One of the things I would suggest using are facebook divorce groups - you can ask questions there and get the answers you need and you can hear the experiences of others. I makes you feel less alone and also opens your eyes to what is going on. Here on mumsnet is also really good as you can get a lot of answers from this community on what to do/advice. Another thing you can use which I used is - iamlip.com - It's a bunch of free help guides that take you through the entire process. It helped since I couldn't afford to keep the solicitors I was using, although my friend used both a solicitor and these help guides to save money by doing some of it by herself e.g. forms.
Hope this can help! Wishing the best for you and the kids. You deserve a happy and peaceful life so don't stay where you and the kids won't be happy.