Divorce guilt- should I do it?

[Noideawhattochoose]

I’m right at the beginning of working out what to do and I just don’t know if I can handle the guilt of separation.

Together since age 18, now 44 with 2 daughters.

Always knew he wasn’t the one- but he was immediately so dependent on me as has no family or friends that I felt too guilty to break up with him right from early on. I know I should have…. But I convinced myself that it would all be fine.

He’s a lovely kind man who is supportive of me but so wrong for me. We have nothing in common and being with him bores and drains me. I feel embarrassed at social events. There have been about 3 times over the years that I’ve considered separating but always just carried on.

I could just carry on as I am but the thought of having to pretend to be happy for the next 20/30/40 years makes me so sad.

But- how can I blast my kids lives apart just because I am not happy- when there’s no abuse or anything really wrong?

Has anyone done similar- left a kind and supportive man just because he’s not the one? Did you feel guilty and how did it all pan out?

Why would you set out to blast their lives apart? Separating and divorcing doesn’t need to be high drama.

What practical difficulties do you see that would cause so much upheaval? Is it an affordability issue?

I am also in my mid-40s, two kids and married to someone I no longer have anything in common with and we have essentially been just housemates for the past five years. To make things worse, he has chronic health issues (which have made our relationship significantly worse) and is essentially just another dependant. Maybe it's a midlife crisis but I feel like this can't be my life, I am so unhappy and just want to get out of this marriage. The only thing keeping me here is out kids and the guilt. I am going to speak to a solicitor as a first step to understand my legal and financial position but I can definitely relate when it comes to the guilt!

I say leave but just do it as gentle and as kind as you can.
my husband left me over a text and the one things that’s stopping me healing is just how little I feel I meant, people fall out of love but I feel when you’ve built a life and family there’s always that love there just a different kind.

you can’t stay unhappy we’re only here once. Xx