50/50 childcare & asset split

[LDA123]

I have always been the primary caregiver and ex had them 2/14 for the last 15 month. He now wants full 50/50 custody split, no longer paying child maintenance and split assets 50/50.

Has anyone agreed to split assets overall 50/50 but with differing percentages for equity and pensions? If we could split 75% equity / 25% pension but still 50/50 overall, I might still be able to buy. Otherwise, with a straight 50/50 we’ll be renting and spending the equity on the monthly rental payments. He also will be renting as cannot get a mortgage at this stage.

Surely he has the same argument tho, that if HE got 75% equity he could buy somewhere given he's got equal care of the kids?

I’ve got a mortgage arranged already but he can’t get one because not currently in paid employment / earning a profit from self employment.

Yes obviously an argument he could have too.

Guess is just looks like 50% equity then. It seems unlikely will ever get back on property ladder as the equity will disappear on rent.

Do you want a 50-50 residency split? Because you don’t actually have to agree to that if you don’t think it’s best for the children.

I feel he has the right to be with his children, he is their father. Trying to put a stop to it will just cause upset and long battles. I think the kids would be happy with the arrangement (although hard to know) so I guess that’s the most important thing.

In general, I’m not sure if 50/50 really works best for children. I always thought nicer to have one main, permanent home and then see the other parent a lot. But it seems 50/50 is more common these days.

You usually split ALL assets 50:50 and yes it can be arranged that equity is offset against pension.

Do you think he’s wanting 50:50 to avoid CMS?

Probably. And the asset split as I was proposing it be more in my favour as I had the kids most of the time. But on the plus side, I am happy not to be relying on him paying CM (used as a threat, paid late etc) and we are going to split all costs 50/50 (in theory) plus it will be nice for the kids to spend more time with their Dad. I’ll have a bit more downtime and hopefully we can both be the best parents we can be.

I’ll just take a straight 50/50 split but will mean either renting, moving into a 2 bedroom place with 4 kids or moving to a cheaper area to afford a very small 3 bedroom place.

Whatever way, it’s all going to be a lot of upheaval for the kids ☹️

What you proposed about 50:50 overall but 75 equity 25 pension is perfectly normal especially if it allows the DC to remain in their home.

Please go through CMS now until the actual 50:50 happens.

You can also state that he needs to build up to the 50:50 and what is his proposal to do that.

Also make the agreement that he pays for everything the DC need and you will reimburse him as he's shown that he is unreliable when it's been the other way around.

If you have sacrificed having a better pension and/or job because stayed at home enabling him to work full time then tbh I wouldn't agree to a 50:50 split.

Also consider if future pension sharing is a better deal in the long term than cash now.

Have you a GOOD solicitor that gets proven good results for people in your situation?

You sound like you are caving to what he wants rather than truly understanding what is in your and DC best interests?

I’m going to talk to my solicitor tomorrow about it all. From what I’ve read though, judges prefer 50/50 splits if no reason not to so not sure I’d have a leg to stand on to refuse. Unfortunately he quit his job so CMS would pretty much assess his income as nil (now self employed)