Court - What you asked for v what you got

[LDA123]

For anyone who ended up in court for the financial settlement, would you mind sharing the outcomes? Are you pleased you took it to court or do you wish you managed to settle outside of court?

I can only give the example of my now partner and his EW.

She demanded at the start of the consent order process (and despite many offers from him, she refused and it went to the 3rd hearing):

• Spousal Maintance of £10k a year
• Child Maintance of £12k a year
• A new car
• £3k in cash
• She stay in the FMH for a further 11 years
• He pay the mortgage in full (it was interest only) £6k a year
• On sale of the FMH she would get 70%
• 50% of all of his pensions (he wouldn’t get a share of his)

She was awarded (decided by the judge):

• No Spousal Maintance - kids were in secondary school and she was told to start supporting herself and get a job
• He agreed to the Child Maintance request of £10k a year with the agreement that she wouldn’t ask for any more (within a month of the signed consent order she was demanding more) if
• She didn’t get the new car or cash request
• It was agreed she could stay in the FMH for only a further 4 years but she would have to pay the mortgage in full & any maintenance costs herself
• On sale of the FMH she got 67.5%
• She got 50% of only 1 of his pensions (by the time of the divorce she had cashed in all of her own)

I think the he moral of the story is don’t be greedy.

I asked for 70% of the fmh - we were married 5 years when we first split up and 8 by the time the divorce went through, I paid the deposit and had a pension from before dc, he had opted out of his work pension) and I got 66% of the equity and CMS. He was a very hands-off dad.

My ex was insensed that I got so much - he started out wanting the whole house for himself and 50/50 with the dc after never once getting up in the night, never changing a nappy and never fed the dc.

He's completely abandoned the dc in the last few years....

This is what I'd like ex dh to agree to, he won't communicate so we could well end up in court. Could anyone advise if this seems reasonable?

65/35 split of house equity in my favour (but I'd agree to 60%).

I take on/ pay off the mortgage and give ex some of his share of the equity now (as little as he'd agree to) and the rest in 5 years when our youngest child turns 16. I'd be responsible for all repairs and ongoing maintenance of the home. House is worth approx 270k with a 40k mortgage. Ex is the higher earner. I work part time and will look to increase my hours (difficult with no childcare). I have our children (both school age) 100% of the time as they refuse to have any contact with him. Ex to pay CM in accordance with his earnings.

There are no pensions and any other assets would be left out of things (complicated).

Childcare for 11yo is not really a thing op. You will be expected to maximise your income ASAP and it's entirely on his goodwill if he agrees to wait 5 years for the proceeds of the house.

Can you afford to buy him out? Can you take on the mortgage and afford some of the equity? If the house remains in joint names (which I suspect it will, until you can 2afford to take over the whole mortgage AND pay him off, then he will be tied into the house and mortgage too.

Judges like clean break orders which might mean you would be expected to either release him from the mortgage (and give him his share of the equity) now, or sell the house.

@Loverofoxbowlakes

I can afford to pay off the mortgage and give him his full share of equity, up to 50%. However given our circumstances I don't think a 50% share is fair (also advised this by 3 solicitors) so would be wanting to agree to max 40% to him. He at one point said he'd accept some equity now and some in the future, if we did that he'd stay on the deeds but he wouldn't need to be on the mortgage.

Whilst my youngest child is able to be left alone, having been through so much trauma with her dad leaving she hates being left for more than a couple of hours. I struggle as it is only working part time as I have no one to help with anything. Working full time would be very difficult, at least for the next couple of years.

As per Pp you’ll be expected to maximise your earnings and settlement will be based on earning potential not earning. He won’t be expected to take less because you are choosing to work part time

what could swing it is the fact you have the children 100% so his ‘needs’are less

what are your actual earnings? 4x could mean 50k or could mean 200k. That’s important. courts will be looking to sever all financial ties as quickly as possible and if that can be done now by selling the house and splitting 50:50 you might see that being awarded. They’ll be looking to remove him asap from being tied to a house he cannot use and one which impairs his own mortgage raising ability.

also bear in mind that in 5 years time house prices may have risen so the skiing of capital you need to raise will be higher, you’ll be 5 years older ( so shorter mortgage ) and you’ll still likely need a house big enough for your then adult and near adult children but that won’t be factored in

if you can afford to pay off mortgage and give him 50% then you don’t ‘need’ 65% so I’d be careful pushing too much tbh especially as your children are older so don’t need childcare - that’s your Choice and he’s unlikely to be awarded less because of it

We went to court for financials, he refused to complete Form E, I wanted the FMH signed over to me and that's what I got. Best result I could have hoped for. He wanted to make life as difficult for me as he could which he got so I guess we both got what we wanted.

@millymollymoomoo

I appreciate I will need to look to increase my hours but even on full time I'd be a low earner (under £25k). I went part time when we had our first child and I've always done over 80% of the childcare. I will be having the children 100% of the time and will not be surprised if my ex tries to minimise the CM he has to pay. I would be being helped by family to buy him out. At 50% I would also need a loan or mortgage, 40% would make it more affordable.

I keep seeing on here about 50/50 and clean breaks being likely or preferred but I don't know anyone where that has been the case in real life. We were together 20 years, 10 year marriage. As my ex earns more, has rehomed himself with his AP and will not need to house his children it would seem unfair for him to get over 50% of the equity.

It might seem unfair but if finances provide fir needs on that it’s increasingly being awarded

im not saying that’s the case here, but you have to think in terms of faur in the eyes of law vs fair morally

tou are the lower earner and have children 100%. It’s highly likely you will be awarded higher % but you’ll also need to think how you can sever finances asap which involves giving him his share and getting him off the deeds And your settlement won’t likely be based on your part time earnings but what your full time earning could be. Childcare and part time won’t cut it with secondary age children

can you sell now, take your share, give him his snd but somewhere with earnings, mortgage, equity and child maintenance?

I wouldn't need to sell to give him his share, and could give him his share up front rather than in a few years time. I just wondered what a court would decide if we end up having to do that. He's currently completely refusing to communicate at all, I've put the divorce in online but we'll need to agree the finances for the consent order.

Given I don't think he'll provide for our children going forward I want to ensure I get as much as I can. I'm happy to put an amount of the equity into a deed of trust for our children if he'll agree (doubtful).

We had 50/50 and a clean break. Ex bought me out of the fmh.

I had to go to court because my exh would not agree with anything and actually thought I should keep the house with 4 years mortgage left to pay on it and he kept our joint business but I had 50 percent of shares. I offered to go 50/50 having house and business valued and 50/50 on pensions too. We had been married for 20 years. Our business was worth over 3 times the value of our house. The Judge awarded me 65 percent of the house. DC living with me. Judge ordered either business sold and proceeds split 50/50 or valued and exh had to buy my 50 percent shares from me. Also I got 1/3 of his biggest pensions but he kept the other 2 and I kept my own one. I ended up with more by going to court and Judge told exh I had made a fair offer and he should have accepted it instead of dragging me to court. He ended up worse off. He had to pay some costs too.

My exh had to take out a large business loan to give me my share of business. He ranted and raved but Judge was adamant I should not have to wait for my 50 percent. In the end exh traded his share in our house against some of my shares in business but had to get a loan to pay me for for rest.

A Judge is unlikely to accept part time working with a secondary age children especially if no EHCP. They will look at your earnings potential for full time working. As DC will be with you it's likely you'll get higher percentage of house especially as he's housed already. But Judges like clean breaks. You would have to give him his share of equity at divorce not 5 years down the line as it would impair his ability to get a new mortgage. If his pension is higher than yours you would likely get a pension sharing order so he might have to transfer some of his pension to you, you could offer to trade this amount against his share of house.

If he works contact CMS and keep child maintenance formal. My ex was very bad at paying so they made his employer take it from his salary and pay to them, then they forwarded it to me.

I have children 70/30, I asked for split 60/40 as they had BTL that I knew they wouldn't sell, so was going to get an income from it after. They kept claiming they were going to live in same area as me once all settled so needed more money to house. I slightly out earned them until we split, then they seemed to get career motivated post divorce, so doubt I do now as I can't because I have the children more and put their needs first. They hid a taxable sized redundancy payment (timeline would have made it eligible) and moved money from BTL's out of accounts that I had no access to and delayed going to court so that they could 'clean up' their P60 and accounts. They had chosen, despite working, to opt out of contributing to a pension unbeknown to me. Split ended up around 50/50 (slight imbalance in my favour but nothing substantial). They were and still are imo a lying cheating cunt. Three different judges, all completely different recommendations.

I self represented and went straight to court for a FDR because I just knew my ex would piss about for years and years and run up huge legal bills. I did one mediation session just so that I could say i'd tried mediation but obviously we couldn't agree there.

He offered me 20% of the assets. The judge awarded me 50% of the assets which I was happy with. I did have 3 dependant children living with me at the time though but they were 15 and 17 so weren't really included - whatever - I managed with what I got.

I knew without any doubt that the judge would be fair and my ex wouldn't.

I didnt take mine to court as I wanted it done fast. Proposed we both kept debt and pensions in our own names and both kept own cars. I put forward I wanted 75% of our house as I have our children 85% of the time and he has a higher income than me. Settled at 60% of the house which was my aim anyway.

Sending in the Form A next week. Mediation wasn’t suitable for some reason. Nervous about it all but looking forward to getting it done and being able to put it all behind me and move on.

@Itsybitsydoodah

Did you get a Financial Consent Order?

Yes we did. Used an online service that drsfted up what we agreed upon and submitted it to the courts for us. I had already applied for divorce myself.

@Itsybitsydoodah

I want to do the same, and also want to request 75% of equity with the hope of him agreeing to 60/65%. Also want to leave any other debt or assets out of it. I have the children 100% of the time so I think the equity split seems fair. You've given me a bit of hope that I can get things sorted out.

Glad I spotted this before starting another thread.
We split up and wife moved out from the house we bought together after 5 years marriage. For reasons that are irrelevant we didn't divorce then- it was 10 years ago...
She's been renting since.
I applied for divorce and the case is rolling but anxious about house/ money.
I've been left with the debts and bills and been repaying mortgage on my own for a decade.
I paid £12k/year child maintenance for all these years and whatever was needed on top.
I have about £50k debt, she probably has around £30, house worth about £300, with £200 mortgage.
not sure where to go and who to talk to..