Divorced a narcissistic emotional abuser and now coparenting is proving very very difficult.
We did all paperwork ourselves for divorce so didnt involve mediators/solicitors to get final order, but now I feel I need a formal doc on our child care arrangements.
Anyone been successful with organising something with teenagers? I'm primary carer, he cant afford to support them financially and their main home is mine.
Theres no wish to discuss money but agree when/how/what each one needs to inform and how a schedule is to work /how many days with each. I know kids can chose not to go as teens wtc but i think if it makes the days without him easier, without him disturbing, I think they'd do it.
As an example he was away and we didnt know when he'd be back, so I took kids on a day trip and he went mental I didn't tell him and knew he'd want to see them - he never informed anyone and I should be ok to take them out when I'm with them?
Or took kids out for lunch and then he is pissed off when back from work and wants to take them to dinner and they are full - well, we didnt know he wanted to take them out and I cancelled dinner plans with them the day before because he wanted them to go to his.
All is always last minute, we never know when he wants or can see them (so I cant plan time off) and anything is an excuse to throw all his verbal abuse on me again. Kids find it tense to be around him as he's always about to explode.
I doubt he'll even agree to mediation but I need to try get a crystal clear doc on the rules around our communication and kids time with each of us or we'll all go mad and its like I'm not free from him yet.