I left an abusive relationship in 2013. Mostly emotional/ financial abuse and I was forced to leave the property. I’ve had almost no contact with my ex but I’m trapped on the mortgage although not paying anything towards it. It was in negative equity at the time, maybe not now. My ex changed the payments to interest only, so the capital is not being paid. The mortgage term ends in 8 years time.
My ex has a new partner living there contributing to all the bills and mortgage now. The mortgage company have in writing from me that I give my full consent to a TOE, but the application has to come from her.
The problem is, over the years when we have enquired/ applied/ started the process, she misses mortgage payments and gets into arrears, and the mortgage company throw out the application. She has a good job but uses payday loans due to gambling on the internet. Last time I checked she had spent £750/ month on online bingo. I can see all this as I still have access to the joint bank account that the mortgage payments come out of. I’m jointly liable of course, but due to her bullying me I can’t just step in and make payments even if I wanted to- if she thought I would do that, she will simply stop paying altogether.
At the time I didn’t realise how serious the abuse was I suffered. All the resources I found related to heterosexual couples and financial abuse wasn’t so known about then. I had a solicitor involved but ultimately they were useless- she just played them, didn’t co-operate with anything, cost me thousands, and the abuse escalated.
In the last 10 years I have managed to resolve many things by myself- eg. a loan that she forced me to take out for her. I keep thinking there must be a way I can get free of the mortgage.
Is there anyone who provides legal/ financial advice and understands abusive situations? Does anyone have any advice or perspectives on this? Thank you for reading.