50/50 custody custody and secondary school equipment

[itllneverwork]

Maybe am overthinking this but how do you manage custody with secondary school age kids and tonnes of books and sports kit?

At mediation, we've agreed a 50 /50 split of DC going into y8 and y9 (diff schools) on what is apparently a common split of 2:2:5:5 (every M & Tu night with him, every W & Th with me, alternating F, S and S nights). I will be moving to a new home 1.5 miles away making school commute longer for both DC, stbexh is staying in the fmh. Hopefully move will happen in October.

Dc in y8 has a weekly timetable and access to lockers so can keep stuff at school, books are generally held in the relevant classrooms anyway so no daily carting stuff to and from school and homework is usually online. Maybe we'll need to get an extra PE kit but it's sensibly priced so this isn't a big issue.

Dc in y9 has no locker access, has a 2 week timetable, has 3 or 4 diff (and pricey) sports kits depending on season, needs to take all his exercise and text books in each day and has homework for most subjects most days. How do we manage his books and equipment without constantly ferrying stuff around he's forgotten / we've forgotten. Now new term is looming, I've got the fear about this two fold - my divorce decision will lead to him getting behaviour marks for forgotten stuff and may mean that he never wants to come to my place just because of school equipment.

Has anyone else faced this messy custody arrangement along with lots of school stuff. How do you manage? Thank you!

What do the kids want to do here OP especially the older one. It sounds like this is the agreement between the parents. But at their age they should get some say. This is one major reason why 50:50 doesn’t suit every secondary school aged child. They have a lot going on and moving between two homes is an additional complication for them. Sometimes less moving around works better and then other parent getting more of holiday’s and mid term.
Other thing is no harm in changing things if first plan doesn’t suit the children.

Hi, I have the same pattern as you suggested with my ex. We both have a set of pe kit and some uniform. I work on the basis that this is hard enough for the kids without transporting stuff around so I am clear I'll buy them extra of anything they need. Their school books all love with me and I drop round at their dads everything they need for the following few days after I've dropped them at school.

I found it so stressful to begin, I was so worried I wouldn't be able to make it work and the kids would be upset but we've found a rhythm and all works fine. It helps we live nearby and are amicable so anything forgotten is quickly dropped off

Actually quick note we do SMT with me, WT with dad and alternate weekends. It's not 50/50 but it really helps as school organisation is exactly the same every week

Hi OP,

I have the exact same set-up in terms of custody, and like the previous poster I usually drop off and pick up their stuff from their dads after the school run, they've been doing this now for 7 months so far, and only had one forgotten item, which their dad ran them over to pick-up, they're usually just really good at getting their bags sorted.

Eldest has a house key, so she can come and go as she pleases or let her self in to pick things up if I'm not home.

It's not easy, but with some communication and planning it's not impossible either.

Worst thing I find about this set-up is food and food shopping for those 2 days.. daughter is celiac and her gluten free wraps are expensive to waste so I usually end up sending some food bits back and forth too.

Mine is just going into
secondary but always had close to 50:50. Id be lying if I said I didn’t have to drop off forgotten items. I do without question as it’s not kids fault…

one thing that has helped. I installed a key lock so they can drop round and get bits and bobs.

uniform, I’ve always had extra to make life easier.