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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Stay or leave?

2 replies

GG1986 · 19/08/2023 10:35

Been with partner for 11 years, we have a 7 year old and 8.5 month old. Things haven't been good for a while, the reason I stayed and had another baby is because things had improved, but I've noticed a pattern and it goes crap again. I think the final straw for me was last week when he raised his voice at me in front of the children and my 7 year old was saying "stop arguing, calm down" (i wasn't raising my voice back) and 2 days later when he swore at me and called me a c**t because i asked him to do something. I've had enough and want out, but I am terrified. We are not married, but jointly own our home. I work part time but on maternity leave, due back in December. I don't know where we will live, how we will afford it and I am scared I'm going to ruin my kids lives. Do I stay until the youngest is a little older? We have just renewed our mortgage for 2 years also.

OP posts:
Twazique · 19/08/2023 12:01

I waited until my children were older, in retrospect I think they would have found it easier when they were younger. Good luck OP Flowers

Anita848 · 20/08/2023 16:06

Leaving sooner rather than later will be better for both you and the kids. Especially if your sons behaviour is getting influenced by your partners abuse. See if this might be able to help - https://iamlip.com/help-guides/other-divorce-separation-situations/ there's a help guide for unmarried couples. Also there's charities you can contact online for help getting away. https://iamlip.com/help-guides/registered-charities-that-could-help-you/
You will not be ruining the children's lives - you will be improving it, it's not always better to have two parents if the living situation is not good/stressful/impacting the child's behaviour in a bad way.
Wishing you the best.

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