I finally had the courage to end an emotionally abusive relationship. I told him in an angry outburst when he was being a twat in front of the kids. Then I told him when I'd calmed down.
Then again the day after, that I meant what I said, that I want him to leave.
Asked him when he was going n he said he'd spoke to a guy who rents out rooms n should have somewhere at the end of the month..
In the days since then he's being super nice, complimenting me, buying/making my favourite foods, being all calm with the kids (not like him), he's even abstained from drinking beer (he's been a daily drinker for years)
I was teary the first few days, crying whenever I thought about him leaving, but now I feel almost nothing but anger towards him.
He says it was all down to the alcohol, that he felt rough all the time which made him angry and short tempered. He says he's sorry he hurt me, sorry he didn't support me emotionally, that he doesn't want anyone but me.
I know it's for the best we split up, for many reasons. I'm angry with him that I've come to him with things that needed addressing SO many times n he'd just say "you'll feel alright in a few days" or call me week for allowing things to bother me! completely disregarding my concerns that needed talking through or acting upon.
I'm angry with him for all the bullshit I've put up with over the years, every hurtful comment he's made, all the friends I lost because of him, the years I spent apart from my family because he'd always say "we made our own family, we don't need anyone else" well, I do!!!
I'm sick of feeling lonely and sad and wishing for a better life for me n my kids.
I'm tired of longing to live within walking distance of any family.
It's almost asif he believes I'm gonna change my mind at the end of the month, carrying on as normal but being really nice.
Ita making me feel confused, like I almost lose sight of why I want him out of my life (as much as possible)
How do I get through this? I need to keep the peace for the kids, I'd rather he wasn't mad as last time he was shouting at kicking stuff.
It's not bad enough for the police to get involved, he wouldn't physically hurt me. I just want him to go so I can have some breathing space and start rebuilding my life without him.
I told him last night that I was looking at housing near my family and he got hostile, saying that was the reason for me leaving him (he's said for years he wouldn't come with me if I moved back there)
I said "no, it just happens to be a door that's now opened with leaving you"
I'm halfway through redecorating my whole house, but I don't have the energy to carry on right now.
The older kids (12 + 9) know somethings not right, they've seen and heard his angry outbursts and confided in me that they dislike him. I want to tell them he'll be gone soon but am waiting for the time to be closer.
How do I get through this? It seems so hard.