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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Mortage payment hell

9 replies

lightandshade · 15/08/2023 06:04

Looking for advice for my brother. He is currently going through a divorce which isn't going smoothly but there is a joint property, his ex resides in the property and has changed the locks, not ideal but fine.

The mortage payment goes out of his bank and she transfers him her half (well she sends less but that's a different issue) this month she has not sent her half.

So he now has payed the full amount for a house he has zero access to, as well as CSA even though he has their daughter over 50% (she lied to CSA about how often he has him and until the custody agreement is finalised there is nothing he can do) and she has paid zero.

Does anyone have any advice on what he can do here ?

OP posts:

Onceuponaheartache · 15/08/2023 06:15

He needs to seek legal advice because for 1 legally she isn't allowed to change the locks without providing him with a key, this was the info from both the police and lawyer when my exh did the same to me.

As for mortgage I'm not sure there is much he can do, but it is always worth contacting the mortgage company. Does he have the agreement in writing that she will pay half? If so some companies will accept that and take half from him and half from her.

Awful situation all round, I hope it gets sorted.

RandomMess · 15/08/2023 06:22

Speak the mortgage company about going onto interest only whilst the property sells.

Legal advice on gaining access to the property and tbh I would move back in - may expedite her selling up.

CMS keep a diary of all the care he has and keep reporting that he has more than 50% care, wonder if he can put in a counter claim for CMS from her?

RandomMess · 15/08/2023 06:23

He can also apply for child benefit if he's the primary parent. Will end up in dispute no doubt.

JaukiVexnoydi · 15/08/2023 06:24

Is your brother adequately housed? I assume he must be or he wouldn't be able to have the kids 50%.

His first priority should be what is in the best interests of the DC. If making things "fair" between thr grownups makes things worse for the kids then the grownups need to put up with a bit of unfairness.

If he actually needs access to the family home then unless there is a court order preventing him, he can legally enforce his right to be there, but in most cases enforcing this would be bad for the kids and make the divorce more antagonistic.

The arrangement for mortgage can change eg he could switch it to interest-only to reduce payments. They could change the set up so that the money comes from her account and he just gives half.

Don't forget that your brother is only telling you his side of the story. Obviously he is your brother anf you love him but having a sibling who loves you is no guarantee of not being a shitty git too. His ex may not be as evil as his descriptions make out.

millymollymoomoo · 15/08/2023 07:18

Yeah and his ex may be a controlling bitch as not all men are bastards and not all wives are saints

He shouldn’t have moved out and has rights to access his home. He could get a locksmith to change the locks

ultimately he needs the divorce settlement finalised asap and push it to court if she’s not engaging in the process

he should also contact cms with evidence of their 50:50 arrangement

Original poster

lightandshade · 15/08/2023 09:50

Solicitors are Involved thankfully but she doesn't engage.

As for CMS they have told him they go off the lowest amount of days specified by either parent, and she said two nights a week which is so far from the truth. They said they cant. They can't change it until a custody agreement is done, which is in process and very expensive

OP posts:

JibbaJab · 15/08/2023 12:05

I am in a similar situation with my wife, who was abusive during our marriage and has rug pulled me.

She has taken the house, money and withholding children and making out I am abusive and blocked me with legal threats of restraining orders based on fabrications. There's nothing I can do and likely the same for your brother. I am paying CM and the mortgage for a house I cannot return to, while simultaneously being blocked from all child contact.

She may not be that way inclined like mine but just be wary because as I found out it doesn't take much to fully block you, take the children with no evidence and throw you into the abyss.

onlylovecanhurtlikethis · 15/08/2023 16:10

Tell him to stop paying

BeckiWithAnI · 15/08/2023 21:48

Agree with the above about contacting the mortgage provider. Also speak to the solicitor about charging the ex occupation rent. If he owns the house equally but isn’t benefiting from it, he can charge her rent for his half of the property at a rate of half the current rental value. Depending on the size of the mortgage payments and the rental market in the area this can be about the amount of her half of the mortgage, other times it can be much higher than the mortgage so may be in her interest to just pay the damn mortgage. He’s already being too generous still paying half, especially if he is also paying rent for another property.
I don’t know the circumstances of their breakup, but the reality is that no matter who was “right or wrong” at the end, the property is owned equally, with no one partner more entitled to live there than the other.

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