How does 50/50 work?

[Strawberryfieldsforeverrr]

Very early stages of relationship ending. DC are 7 and 4.
How would it work? I think I could just about mange maybe 3 days at each home before swapping, but 7 days would just be crippling to be without dc. Has anyone got any experience, how did it work for you?

For children of that age who’s parents live close enough to each other that they can both do school runs, the court would usually suggest the Long Week Short Week system.
For example:
Dad has every Monday Tuesday night
Mum has every Wednesday Thursday night
Then you have every other Friday Saturday Sunday nights.
This creates a long week for Dad (Monday night to Wednesday morning) and a long week for Mum (Wednesday night to Monday morning).
It sounds complicated but once you get used to
it it’s not.
Then they recommend summer holidays are split so each parent gets a 2 week block then a 1 week block.
Christmas is alternate or change over at 12 noon.
Mothers Day and Fathers Day pick up at 9am if with the other parent.
Child’s birthday: wherever they wake up, they sleep that night at the other parents.
For the child’s things, we do it so there is a set of absolutely everything at each house and the only thing that travels between is the school bag.
The other parents school uniform either goes back washed in the school bag, or the child wears it to school the day they go back to the other parent.
Handovers are done by dropping off at school then the other parent collects after school so you only have to see each other in the holidays.

This works in our family for primary aged child, I have to say I don’t think it will work at secondary school as it’s a lot of back and forth.

Hope that helps.

3 days at each home might be a bit unsettling for the DC - so they'd be swapping home several times a week? Tough as it sounds 3 days being tough for you or not shouldn't be the main concern, it should be how will the DC cope. Lots of back and forth isn't always best for them but will definitely depend on each family.

If you Google it there are some examples of different patterns. Can’t remember where I read it but regular long stints away like 7 days are not recommended for young children.

But yes the flip side of that is more frequent changes

A week at each creates more stability and Jess swapping for the children

depends how close you live and how amicable you are

I am definitely not just thinking of myself, I don't think the DC would cope without seeing either of us for a whole week either. When H has worked away they've been frantic to see him after 4 or 5 days.

2,2,3,2,2,3 over two weeks. Then every parent gets a full weekend plus 2 days in the week rotating.

At that age higher frequency of contact is better. Building up to full weeks when they are a little older.

Pick and drop of can be via school. You need to keep things at each house so there is no exchange of material things in the process.

I've read a pattern of Sun-Tues parent A, Weds-Thurs- parent B, and Fri/Sat alternating, which I think sounds good if you want something more like 60/40 as gives some fixed days each week and also everyone gets weekend times. Then half the holidays each.

I know someone who successfully uses the model of Mon-Tue with parent A, Wed-Thur with parent B, and Fri-Sun alternating. I think the consistent days work particularly well for them in terms of eg any regular activities the kids do, as Mon-Thurs they always know what home the kids will be in and which parent they'll be with, and can plan accordingly.

My daughter is 8 and she prefers frequent swapping. We live close by so she does a couple of nights at each of ours and doesn’t spend too long apart. Week on / off is way too long for small children

50/50 works well with the dc, me and my ex. Drop off on a Sunday after tea. Each have clothes, uniforms at respective homes, etc so dc just take bits n bobs backwards and forwards. It did take a bit of getting used to, but I now enjoy my weeks with and also away from the dc. The dc both like it as they get quality time with each parent and a decent amount of time without all the swapping

We do week on week off. Dd 8 and 11 requested this after we tried 4 on 4 off as both didnt know which days with me a d with exdh. I was always sole carer prior to split buthad to accept 50/50 and kids mich more settled doing week with me and week with him as they know whats going on and dont have to work out days. Its awful and breaks my heart but its what has to happen. Im devastated and have no say in this as its court ordered

Each sunday 10am is handover. So much more settled for small kids. It is structured and less confusing for dcs. I dont agree at all with 2 days with one parent then 2 another parent then alternate weekends as its so confusing for an adult let alone small children. I wish it didnt have to be this way but have to make best of it. My exdh is a total narcassist and only opted for 50/50 to get out of maintenamce. He has used family court to abuse me further. Im still not divorced from him as currently tryinh to sort finances. He used family court as a means to hurt me and financially drain me into not pursuing a financial settlement. Waiting of fdr date as i type. 3.5 years of his shit after 23 years married and him having affair with our 19year old daughters best friend and moving her in 4 days afyer he changed locks so i could no longer get access to my home. I didnt even get a teaspoon from my home. He is 48 and she is 23 and they still together 3.5 years later.

I know this wouldn't be for everyone but we do week on week off but with a joint family dinner on Wednesday and Sunday because neither one of us wanted to go a whole week without seeing them. We also spend Christmas, birthdays ect together.