Equity split - please help !

[Catcor71]

I'm leaving my husband for no reason apart from he's worse than having another child, I'm like his carer, I do everything and I'm just feeling broken and don't feel the same about him anymore !

We have been married for 25 years, together for 32.

We have £335k equity in the house, house is in my name - not that this matters.

We have a DD16 & DS17.

I have a 60k pension, he has already withdrawn his pensions. No savings or debts.

I work p/t he works f/t, although this has only recently happened (until recently I was the main earner).

I'm proposing he has £150k from the equity and I have the remaining amount of around £185k. I think this works out to be around 55/45 split. Plus I keep my pension as he has recently cashed his in, also this gives me the chance to pay off my top up mortgage in a few years time.

The 150k means he can either buy a 1 BR flat outright or get a small mortgage top up. I can then get a small mortgage and a 2 BR flat (converting the lounge into a bedroom). The kids have said they're coming with me, although my son would like to stay a few nights a week with him.

I'm fairly sure my proposal is fair, I could maybe push for 60/40 but I don't want to leave him with nothing. He's told DD he'll take this to court to get 50/50 of everything but this maybe it's just his anger talking. If it's 50/50 I wont get enough on mortgage to buy a 2 bed flat for myself and the children.

I've just put the property on the market. We live in Dorset, UK so property prices are a premium, I'm also a p/t carer for my elderly parents so I can't move location.

Thanks for any help :-)

What’s he done with his pension?

I'm 52, he's 56.
Yh we don't have a lot

He spent his pensions on car and motorbike repairs. His pension was smaller than mine.

I would be inclined to say you to stay in the family home until both kids are 18. The next few years for them will be ultra important to them so the lesser disruption the better (and having their own space). Working full time it would be expected he could rent somewhere for himself. The kids are old enough he can see them in the day / evening and wouldn't be expected to do overnights. I expect a court would support this.

Hopefully then, mortgage rates would have dropped and house prices recovered so you both get more equity and as your downsizing it would benefit you.

I would argue you keep your pension however it might be seen his pension was spent to support the family "fixing the car" ect.

% wise I think it's a good split

50:50 seems fair tbh

it is impossible to tell without knowing your incomes. In your case you would be assessed based on a FT job. Are you registered as a carer for your parents, or do you receive income for this work?

How is your £60k pension calaculated? Is this what you expect to draw down?

How much did he draw down and when? Do you still have the car and what is its value? What do you mean by motorbike repairs and how much?

My first reaction is that there isn’t enough to jump straight to lawyers because neither of you can afford a protracted legal battle. There is no reason why you cannot work it out between yourselves.

Given the ages of your children, it’s likely you will only have one dependent when it comes to the crunch. If he wanted to he could drag things out even longer until both are 18. That would probably get him closer to 50% of equity and 50% of equity your pension. Which would gain him c£40k.

Without more information about, incomes and how his pension was used and when, I would say you are ambitious. As it stands he can easily argue his pension savings were used in pursuit of the marriage and it won’t be counted as an asset at the point of divorce. Unless the car is worth more than 5k.

I don’t think you will get to take 245k to his 130k. It would hard for you to justify this and easy for him to challenge this. He has something to gain and you have a lot to lose.

It would certainly be better for you children if you delayed the sale for 2 years. But then you would have to more equally share the assets. Plus you would both have reduced borrowing and earning capacity the older you get.

Alternatively you could offer 50% of the equity to hold onto the pension. Then you need to get a FT job and a mortgage. You may have to discuss alternative arrangements for the care of your parents.

Neither of you can afford to spend a lot on lawyers to fight over a pot this size. Both of you will need to make your peace with some of the realities of divorce.

Are you agreed that he won't touch your pension?

I got 60% equity out of my divorce. Kids aged 14 & 12. Ex is Co-habiting with the girl he had an affair with so the Co-habitation was disclosed on the D81 as part of the narrative around why we had agreed the financial split like we did. My consent order was approved by a judge without any issues. No claims on each others pensions either.

Why wouldn’t he get half? You both need somewhere that the children could stay - a 1 bed flat wouldn’t work for him. You’re younger than him, and can increase your earnings and pension potential by working full time. Your children are not babies, they will be able to adapt living anywhere.
Presumably his pension pot was smaller than yours, and is now spent?

Personally I would suggest 50/50 split of equity but house isn't put on the market until June after youngest turns 18 to allow them to finish school

I'm in the US and had similar issues pertaining to the division of our assets and sale of our home. I went to DivorceSplit.com and it allows me to easily view potential different asset splits and the impacts it will have on our settlement. You have to be educated and be willing to be involved in every decision and always see the big picture because it is too easy to be taken advantage of.