Online Divorce Application

[exDHisatwat]

I'm completing the online divorce as a sole applicant. My husband refuses to communicate at all. He is supposedly living at his parents (according to his mother, who lies) he is there daily Mon to Friday as he works from an office there and always has.

However he spends time at and sleeps at the OW's place more than a few times a week. If this is the case which address should I use for the divorce application? His parents or the OW's?

We separated over a year ago due to his affair, he has been seeing her for 2 years, could be longer. If he is living with her I think it can be taken into account for the finances. We have 2 school age children who he does not see.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Do you need a physical address? It’s served digitally (via email) anyway?

I don’t think the address matters for the purpose of the divorce application BUT his address may be relevant when it comes to separating your finances, if he is living with a new partner.

Thanks for replying @Mumof3confused . I've completed the application and it will be served by email and you're right, his address doesn't seem to really matter.

I think he will be very difficult re the finances and I'm annoyed that he will no doubt lie and say he is having to live with his parents as he is still paying for our house. He has actually been living between the OW's and his parents ever since he left and is only having to pay our mortgage as he refuses to discuss anything.

I went through similar situation as yourself. I am currently awaiting my conditional order now.

My solicitor did everything. Usually the solicitors will send the papers to a close relative if whereabouts are unknown for the respondent. If that fails then they would advice to use a process server which can cost about £85 which is what I got charged. The process server has access to alot of data with hmrc, benefits system or anywhere her name is like banks, voting register etc. Even if his payslip states his new address that's enough to find out his whereabout via HMRC.

The process server will serve the papers to his address after confirming his name. Then from there it don't concern you anymore whether he signs it or.not long as you got the report from process server to prove he has received it, it will be enough for the courts to accept your conditional order.

@Danidutch

Thanks, I know for definite he is living between his parents and her address. If he fails to respond to the emailed divorce within the 2 weeks I'll have him served at his workplace (which is his parents). I've stated the OW's address on the divorce application so I think a letter is sent to that address. I just don't understand why he's being so difficult.

@exDHisatwat

I would imagine his bieng awkward purely because of assets involved and he don't want to make a financial loss or be committed to any regular pay outs.

If the house you and the children been living in on mortgage and its only on his name, your still entitled to the equity of the property. I would imagine the house could be sold and the equity split up. But with you having children there could also be maintenance allowances involved from him.

He would have to declare all his assets likewise yourself aswell.

@Danidutch
Yes, I think he just doesn't want to have to split our assets. It's not straightforward for various reasons and he is self employed.

I know how it all works re split of assets but he is refusing to discuss anything. I have seen a solicitor who advised it would cost £10k upwards if we have to go to court. I have friends who it has cost a lot more than that so really don't want to go down that route.

I am sure there are solicitors out there who will be willing to take on the case, but will charge you end of the case from your gains.

With bieng self employed, I would imagine it would work around last 2 trading years to determine his average income.

@Danidutch

The solicitor said we could have an accountant go through his business and personal accounts. The business is a partnership with someone else and it's all quite complicated. I would just rather agree t

Sorry, clicked post. I'd rather agree things between ourselves than spends thousands on solicitors. He also said he was happy to do this, but over a year later I'm no further forward.

Friends and family had said as long as he keeps paying for the house and giving more than he would have to for CM then just to leave things as they are. It's just hard mentally being stuck in limbo.

I did diy online divorce and initially ex wouldn't engage at all either. Instead of spending on solicitors I instead gave in to him, and helped pay for more than his share of stuff when moving out, as the way I saw it I'd prefer to waste on him, my kids dad, than on legal fees. Eventually (nearly 2 years later!) he accepted and signed the consent order this weekend.
I know every case is different but I thought it was worth being patient if it meant less animosity and avoiding throwing money down the drain. Just the little advice I got cost me 1500£ for 3 ad hoc sessions, I can't imagine actually hiring a solicitor would cost me any less than £10k plus his costs too which would have been stupid.
If he cares about money, try make him see this. He may give in slowly... good luck.

Also you can finish divorce even if finances still pending. I was open to this possibility, just keeping record of everything i was spending on kids and him so if things came to legal, I could then try recoup some money back.

@NewmemyselfandI

Thanks, it's good to know there's no time limit to the process. I want to make a start on things but as I'm not stuck living with him and (so far) he's still paying for our house I'm not in a rush really.

I want a fair amount as I have our children 100% on my own, but I won't waste thousands on solicitors just to be difficult or for the sake of say 10-20k. Hopefully he'll start cooperating.