Being screwed

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Married with kids. (19B,18B,16G). Husband had an affair and left. Going through divorce. I’ve not worked in 25 years as we’d decided I would be the housewife and mother whilst he became the breadwinner and provider. I have zero savings of my own as we were blissfully happy with plans for retirement and moving and travelling etc. We’re both in our 50’s. Our sons are devastated as well as my daughter but really affecting our middle child. He’s not paid proper maintenance over the last year so it’s been a struggle. Now he’s offering I keep house and sell to pay off mortgage and keep equity to buy a house. I might be left after all that with £100k. He’s offered a monthly £2k income award for 2 years mainly for children and part pension. He earns around 450k and bonuses a year and I have very limited earning potential. Courts are not being helpful. Anyone been in similar situation? What was the outcome? Limited resources so can’t really afford too much legal advice as already in debt to friends. Getting very worried and anxious.

This. If he earns 450k pa he will have a huge pension pot. Tell your solicitor you want to pension share. A good solicitor will save you so much money. Think of it as an investment. Put their fees on your credit card then pay it off when you get your payout. Don't let him take your half OP. I know it's exhausting. Also go to CMS if he refuses to pay child support for you get child.

A court won't consider if he wants to retire early in the future, just if he works now and has capacity to work. I ended up getting a forensic accountant because when I split from exh we shared a business, 3 DC, a house, holiday home and pensions and investments. Ha ha several years later I married my accountant. He found irregularities in business accounts in final year. Exh had bought OW expensive jewelry out of our business account.

The advice you need can only come from a qualified solicitor. Ring as many as you can to see if they will work on a minimal upfront fee basis but you most certainly won't be able to get what you deserve without an experienced solicitor fighting your case, especially given your dh's wealth he will be one smart cookie so you need to outsmart him and get to the negotiating table with a good lawyer.

So he's offering £650k in asset (house) and a further £48k over 2 years. Current pensions is £450k? Can you prove any other assets?

@Darkandstormynite the amount is irrelevant. She stayed out of work to raise the family by mutual agreement. She enabled him to build that wealth and pension. A pension that is then added to by accumulated other benefits. She set him up for success so that they could both have that life. Therefore she is legally entitled to a fair separation now that they don't want to be together.

Yes she should spend loads to possibly get in a worse position. But that's not what she's saying - she's asking for ideas, knowledge, advice.

Most of what you posted is garbled and unclear. But basically you were awarded or offered £650k lump sum = all the house equity, half his pension and £2k per month in maintenance until the youngest turns 18.

I would say the maintenance offer is low but you might not be representing his income or salary correctly.

A judge, based on all the information and a wealth of experience, told you not to expect more and possibly less.

@Darkandstormynite typo - shouldn't spend loads to get in worse situation

I can only repeat my earlier advice to consult with an experienced family solicitor who specializes in divorce of high net worth individuals. I expect they would advise engaging a forensic accountant.

No, this won't come cheap. But if your suspicion that he has been hiding assets is correct, it will be money well spent.

Look at it as an investment in your and your children's future.

Tbh if you get 100% of house, half oension and 2 years maintenance that seems fair !

you then need to decide how much to invest in a house / keep as savings and get a job to help pay your way

You shouldn't do a deal on finances before he's been forced to give full disclosure of his savings and other assets. It is all joint matrimonial property to be divided on the basis of needs, regardless of whose name it is held in. It's unlikely that if he earns £450k plus bonuses, he has no savings beyond his pension. If he's disclosed bank statements etc, have you been through them with a careful eye to identify payments out to other accounts, and asked questions about what those accounts are?

Depending on what he does for a living, he may have received bonuses or part of bonuses in shares, which should also be disclosed.

Do you have a solicitor? If not, you should get one asap. I can recommend an excellent divorce lawyer (not Vardags level of fees either!).

Something doesn’t add up here financially. Are you sure he earns £450,000? Have you seen evidence? How long has he earned that sort of money? The assets you are talking about don’t indicate someone who has earned that sort of money for a significant period. Either you are mistaken about his earnings or he is hiding assets.

You need to get decent legal advice- especially if he is hiding assets

It’s seems unusual that such a high earner, after all these years only has £100,000 in equity in the house

everything else, just get proper advice. Not from people here. Go to a solicitor, don’t walk, run.

OK that’s very different to OP

the kids are grown up, you’ll buy a house outright for £550,000 and have £100,000 left for savings

on top of that, you’ll get 2 years at £24,000 until the youngest reaches 18

thats not a terrible situation

and you can certainly afford the solicitors advice you need. You can ask him for the money, as his money is yours too.