Partner wants to leave & sell house

[user1467889240]

Hi, my partner & I have been together 12 years. He moved in with me & 2 of my children about 6 years ago. He found it hard to deal with my teen son at the time, saying he was spoilt, disrespectful & messy etc. my son ended up moving out & living with his dad as he thinks we were both being unreasonable.
Anyhow, 3 years later we decided to buy a house & now my youngest son is 14, we’re have the same situation again. Partner saying I’m too soft on my son, but I don’t think he’s a bad kid, just a teen.
partner now saying this isn’t working & he wants out. Tbh I don’t think it’s just due to my son, as when we took out a short mortgage he was unsure if he really wanted to be tied until he’s 70. ( I’m 13 years younger). Now that’s all he talks about is retiring with his very good pension, selling house & living in a caravan by the sea. I can’t retire yet obviously, so he’s leaving me with no choice but to sell house & split or buy him out.
id just like some advice as if we sell I won’t have much to put down on another house, but also don’t know if I’d be in a position to buy him out ??

When you bought the house your in did you both put the same deposit down, I assume you both sold homes and jointly bought this one ?, in wh i case i feel he has every right to half. If not, if it was just the sale of your house plus top up mortgage you jointly took out, I would say he can only have half of that value, does that make sense. I would say it depends on how you bought it as well, did you buy it as a couple or tenants in common?

I would suggest you get legal advice on it, but don’t be bullied into handing over more than you should, you’ve given up enough for him already

Did you buy as tenants in common, ie 50/50 ?

When he moved in with you initially, was that your house or was it rented?

What did you both put in as a deposit to this second house?

We were renting before we boought thus house. The deposit was a loan from my parents that we are still paying back. Yes we bought it as tenants in common. I don’t know if I have any other rights as I have a child ?

Even if you were married and the child was his child you would be unlikely to be able to keep living in the house without paying him out and remortgaging on your own.

He has to be able to house himself too. And if the child was his then he would have to have the same ability as you to provide a home for the child.

As you aren't married and it's not his child he has no obligations at all.

What is he actually saying he wants? Hopefully to redistribute the deposit and split any money you both make on the sale between you.

You don’t have rights in the same manner as if you were married. Even if you were there’s no automatic right to remain in the house

if you own as tenants in common then he is owed 50% of equity ( unless you have a feed of trust holding in unequal shares) . You either need to be able to raise that capital to buy him out ( and pass affordability to take on mortgage in your sole name ) or you’ll need to sell if he won’t agree to you staying for a while

As others have pointed out the house equity will be split 50:50. If you jointly own any other assets, the same applies.

The issue you should get on top of is the loan to your parents. How was this documented? Is it clearly a loan to both of you? Is he willing to repay his share of the loan if it exists?

Your parents may need to act on their own behalf to get their money back from both of you. I think you should speak to them about what they want to do.

In all likelihood when you took out your mortgage you will have declared the money as a gift. This is not an insurmountable issue as courts will accept evidence to the contrary. For example if you are both making repayments.

My advice

1. ask him whether he agrees to repaying the loan from the equity or through other means. Get the answer in writing especially if it is affirmative
2. speak to your parents about the situation and let them know if the money is at risk. Only they can enforce the terms of their loan to you and him.
3. find out how much you can borrow and whether you can buy him out or buy another property.

Bread advice @LemonTT

*great...

Thanks for all your advice. I’ll see if I can remortgage & buy him out if it comes to it x

"but also don’t know if I’d be in a position to buy him out ??"

It's fairly simple. You find out how much someone is prepared to lend you (usually about 4 x annual income) and then you see if that amount is enough money to buy your ex partner out.

Thanks for your help 😊

Sounds like a right dick! I'll bet he came with nothing too, personally If I moved a man in and he started criticing my children in their own home he'd have been shown the door!! Let this be a lesson to all, he couldn't have done any of it without you and used you to obtain a mortgage, spent a few years now wants out with his share.......loads of dovorced 40/50+ men looking to do the same......get a solicitor sadly you all want equal right.....now you got them!!