Has anyone taken financial advice or mortgage broker advice?

[TeaCakeandKisses]

Hi,

My divorce has gone on for 3 years and it has taken its toll on me both financially and emotionally. I have also been put through some other horrible things in life so, again, my emotional state has been hit.

I instigated the divorce due to a sexless/loveless marriage (which it was). I was offered 50% from the sale of the family home (which I am still living in). Due to other assets coming on on the other side this means I would only get, overall, about 30-35% of total assets. The same offer has been offered again 2 years on.

I can’t go on. I am fed up of the constant emails from both solicitors asking what every little penny was spent on. It is affecting my life greatly. It has also cost me a fortune and I now have £15k on a credit card for solicitor fees that I have to pay back. I was hoping to get a bigger share of the house to pay this back but I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t get anymore credit to pay for it and so have no family to help.

I am going to accept the offer of 50%. My solicitor strongly advises against this.

This means I will come out with £120k once selling fees are deducted. Take off the credit card bill and I’m left with £105k.

I haven’t received a penny in child support. He is crafty and has got out of it.

Anyway, I think I need to see what my options are. Maybe see a financial advisor or mortgage broker (has to be free though). I have a pension but worked part time for over a decade. I don’t know how I will afford a potential £800 mortgage bill until I retire at 67. It will reduce my disposable income to almost zero which puts me in a bad state of any bills crop up. My electric and gas double from tomorrow as my fixed rate comes to an end tonight. I’ve already had the supplier send estimated costs and it’s almost double.

What would you advise?

I don’t want to be unhappy for the rest of my life.

I am 51. Pension age is 67. Looking at needing £70-£100k mortgage. I will have a lump sum from my pension.

can you explain this part much better:
Due to other assets coming on on the other side this means I would only get, overall, about 30-35% of total assets.

Might be worth giving more financial details to help, broadly:

value of joint property
mortgage o/s on property
any other joint debts
your pension value
his pension value
any other assets / savings / investments

plus your salary and any income

Why has it gone on for so long? Have you issued proceedings? I would just let court decide if he is being a twat. You can do a lot of it yourself and self represent, then his side will have to do all the main paperwork bundles etc at his cost.

Depends what your income is as to how realistic a mortgage etc is

what has your solicitor actually advised both in terms of settlement and to get it moving? Why are they not pushing for fdr?

The solicitor keeps questioning every little detail so there has been constant emails between both parties. It’s costing a fortune. Money I don’t have. I am still in exactly the same position I was three years ago.

Lets just say my stbx has lined his ducks up well and has stood ground with his offer. I don’t want to go into room much detail.

I am not quite sure why this hasn’t gone to court yet. It’s just constant asking where has this gone (money) etc.

I’ve spent so much on solicitor fees and got nowhere.

It takes me days to open any emails as the stress of it all is now getting to me. Hence why I want to stop it all.

Plus, my job is at risk.

Good luck then, sounds like you know what you want to do.

For a free mortgage broker you could try London and Country, they can advise on how much you will be able to borrow and repayment rates. I have used them and I think Martin Lewis also recommends them.

1- Why don’t you email the solicitor and say “Since it’s been 3 years and he is still not budging at all on a 30/70 split which I will not agree to, I am wondering why we are not going ahead with a court date so a judge can decide on a fair split?
Please let me know what needs to be done to move forward as I am unhappy with how this is dragging on with no improvement at all).”
Surely then they will either arrange that or let you know why not and what the next steps are to get to that point?

2- Don’t call it 50/50 split if he is only suggesting the house is split 50/50 and he is wanting to keep the extra assets (I’m assuming this is pension/cars/antiques).

3- If he is not paying child support I would ask that you have 70 of the assets at least in place of child support unless DC are late teens.

Definitely speak to an independent financial adviser.

I think I will ask for it to go to court and see what they come back with. It’s been 3 years! I’m tired of this now and the cost is insane.

Eldest is 19 and working and at university so doesn’t count. Youngest is 15 so only 3 years until they hit 18 anyway.

It’s more about the worry that I’ll be paying hundreds on a mortgage and really struggling whilst he will be mortgage free with a nice bank account balance. It annoys me as I earned the most. I paid his AVC’s. I put more into the pot from salary.

Sounds horrendous Op, really feel for you. I'm questioning whether your solicitor is really acting in your best interest given it's rumbled on for 3 years, could you change solicitor?

Plenty of mortgage advisors out there and also lots of info on line so at least you'd have an idea of what mortgage you could get & how much they'd cost.

Is it worth comsdering self representing (amd using a direct access varrister for court).. no court will award you 30%.

I just used a solicitor for advice when needed and I used a barrister for the hearings.

Pls excuse typos!

He's dragging it out to ground you down. Ask for it to go to court ASAP. You need to get him to declare all assets including pension etc and then get a much higher settlement than he has offered so far.

I would get some advice from a different solicitor. And issue Form A yourself. Your solicitor seems to have no interest in making this finish for you (and why would they, it’s great and easy income for them).

Can OP afford to take this to court? I was under impression that going to court cost like £20k minimum, £10k min. each side. OP seems to be saying she can't even afford a £800/month mortgage.

It didn't cost me anything like that. (I could never have afforded that). It is possible to go through court for much, much less if you are prepared to do a lot of legwork, and just use professional advice/help where absolutely needed

£10k + on lawyer fees if it has to go to court, gets widely quoted.
Anyway, does OP have even £5k for lawyer fees, if she can't pay £800/month on a mortgage, and has £15k sitting as debt to lawyer on credit cards already?

Sorry I don't know OP's best way forward, either. Maybe would be sensible to take the 50% with condition that he has to pay for your solicitor fees so far, too.

You can see the predicament I’m in. It’s awful. I really can’t afford to take this to court either. I can’t afford the settlement offer either. It’s 50% of the family home but not 50% of the matrimonial pot. He is set to get 70% and be mortgage free (he has also gone part time). I’m not getting a penny in child maintenance and the youngest is the most expensive child. Eldest works and pays for his own clothes and a lot of expenses.

I can’t afford to keep paying solicitor fees. This is my 2nd solicitor due to leaving the first as nothing was moving.

Just issue Form A, do the legwork yourself and spend what money you do have on a barrister.

This.

From memory, a direct access barrister cost cost me £1200 for the first hearing and a bit more for the FDR.

Form A and the subsequent Form E etc is all perfectly do-able through self representation.