Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Stupid thing for friend to do, advice please

23 replies

Katierose34 · 26/07/2023 20:28

So my friend, male, has gone and done something stupid.
He has been divorced from his wife for 7yrs and now and again they have blow up in conversations, via txt. There are 3 teen kids involved but all good with regards to kids/contact etc.
The problem is... Said friend got his knickers in a twist and stupidly sent his wife a message saying or rather pretending/lying saying he had received a letter from her solicitor regarding communication and it was now to only be via email.
He admits this was a power trip.
Obviously there is no such letter but ex wife has his messages to say there is. He told her he passed said letter to his solicitor to deal with.
Ex wife has contacted her solicitor and is threatening to take action to find out who sent this 'letter'.
So far he has only received an informal email via the ex requesting said letter be sent to her solicitor.
Can anything be done with her evidence of him saying he received a letter or do solicitors not have time for this tittle tattle?

OP posts:
Original poster
Katierose34 · 26/07/2023 20:30

He has not typed any such letter so has not pretended to be a solicitor or anything, he has just messaged her to say he has received a letter.

OP posts:
JibbaJab · 26/07/2023 21:39

I would say unless there's some ongoing issue of like manipulation or perceived mind games up to now that she may take offense to and use that against him then I don't think much will come of it.

Probably best to take it on the chin and admit it was a lie before it escalates any further. If he wants communication through solicitor then instruct his own to in initiate that.

Bear in mind I have no legal training but I don't think they would bother myself. The main issue is I think whatever she gets herself into as a result from kicking up a fuss that would likely make her look bad and annoy her.

Original poster
Katierose34 · 26/07/2023 22:51

Thank you for your reply.
There is no way he will admit lying to her so he has cut contact and is hoping for the best.
He really has got himself worked up, worried the police will turn up, worried he will be arrested for harrasment etc.
Even if a solicitor letter was to arrive from the ex wife surely his best course of action would simply be to reply to the solicitor thank you for your letter, your points have been noted?
End of, surely she wouldn't want to pay to take things further?

OP posts:
JibbaJab · 26/07/2023 23:20

Obviously don't know the ins and ours but I doubt much would come from it, wouldn't say the police would visit over it. Likelihood I would say is she will find out one way or another as solicitor will say they haven't...but they may just think it's not worth bothering with or send a letter about it.

I mean at end of day they would be acting on her behalf so unless they happen to take it personally she would have to say to send something I think, which would cost...so dunno probably not worth the time.

What's done is done no point fretting over it, can't change it now but if it was me I'd own up to just to shut it down but his call.

Fizzadora · 26/07/2023 23:24

Why is your friend acting like an immature knob?
He needs to grow up.
It would serve him right if the police did come knocking and arrested him for wasting police everyone's time.

Rogue1001MNer · 26/07/2023 23:41

You need veterinary friends, OP.

LTF

Rogue1001MNer · 26/07/2023 23:41

Oh, is this a reverse?

Rogue1001MNer · 26/07/2023 23:42

Rogue1001MNer · 26/07/2023 23:41

You need veterinary friends, OP.

LTF

Veterinary????

Better!!!!

AuntMarch · 26/07/2023 23:49

Why on earth wouldn't you just say "I would like to keep all communication via email".. what a bizarre thing to make up when it would be so obviously checked and easily proven false!

If he isn't willing to admit his lie, he can't be that concerned though, can he? If I were a solicitor and someone was sticking to a story that they've received a letter I never sent, I would be following it up as far as possible rather than think somebody could be impersonating me and risking my professional reputation. I guess he'll find out in the end.

HundredMilesAnHour · 26/07/2023 23:51

He sounds batshit.

Whadda · 26/07/2023 23:54

Is this “friend” your boyfriend, OP?

Whadda · 26/07/2023 23:56

Or husband

JanglyBeads · 26/07/2023 23:58

I'd be quite wary of believing his version of events and of how amicably contact is being managed OP......

TakenRoot · 27/07/2023 00:19

They both still have solicitors 7 years after divorcing??

FloweryName · 27/07/2023 00:27

So this woman now has to pay her solicitor to write letters to his solicitors about letters that never existed?

Why have they even got solicitors if they’re already divorced? Why is he still being a prick to his ex wife and why do you have sympathy for him? He is harassing her so he deserves to worry that he will be in trouble with the police for harassment. It is entirely the ex wife’s decision if she goes to the police or fights for costs related to his stupidity.

LemonTT · 27/07/2023 09:07

If he is worried about being reported for harassment then he probably is harassing her. If he is too arrogant to back down and at least say he was wrong and no letter was sent he has a strong narcissistic streak.

Hopefully whoever was on the receiving end of this reports it to the police as a first step to making sure it doesn’t happen again or full establishing a pattern of behaviour.

Your friend did something wrong. It may well meet the threshold for criminal behaviour. That’s the best thing you can tell them. Or at least explain that he cannot vent or inflict his anger and frustrations on another individual who clearly doesn’t want it.

VeridicalVagabond · 27/07/2023 09:11

Rogue1001MNer · 26/07/2023 23:42

Veterinary????

Better!!!!

Show quote history

I have two veterinary friends and they're wonderful, so maybe OP does need to befriend some veterinarians! Seems a better choice than this immature bonehead anyway.

ohfook · 27/07/2023 09:34

Katierose34 · 26/07/2023 22:51

Thank you for your reply.
There is no way he will admit lying to her so he has cut contact and is hoping for the best.
He really has got himself worked up, worried the police will turn up, worried he will be arrested for harrasment etc.
Even if a solicitor letter was to arrive from the ex wife surely his best course of action would simply be to reply to the solicitor thank you for your letter, your points have been noted?
End of, surely she wouldn't want to pay to take things further?

Honestly he's fucked up - it seems to be manipulative but you know him and I don't so that might be wrong. He won't admit it or take steps to put it right. You should probably just step back and let him deal with the consequences of his actions.

Whataretheodds · 27/07/2023 10:01

Why are you concerned about trying to reassure him there won't be consequences to his childish actions?(claiming to receive a letter that was never sent, presumably for the purposes of agitation, then cutting all contact and refusing to admit his mistake).

Original poster
Katierose34 · 27/07/2023 10:58

Thanks all for your replies.
He's not my partner, I'm single.
Yes he absolutely has narcissistic traits.
He really just lost the plot and is now regretting it but as he's an adult it's up to him to sort it out himself.

OP posts:
EvianBaby · 27/07/2023 11:06

FloweryName · 27/07/2023 00:27

So this woman now has to pay her solicitor to write letters to his solicitors about letters that never existed?

Why have they even got solicitors if they’re already divorced? Why is he still being a prick to his ex wife and why do you have sympathy for him? He is harassing her so he deserves to worry that he will be in trouble with the police for harassment. It is entirely the ex wife’s decision if she goes to the police or fights for costs related to his stupidity.

This. 100%. I feel sorry for women on the receiving end of men and their immature behaviour. Let her move on and grow up.

EvianBaby · 27/07/2023 11:07

LemonTT · 27/07/2023 09:07

If he is worried about being reported for harassment then he probably is harassing her. If he is too arrogant to back down and at least say he was wrong and no letter was sent he has a strong narcissistic streak.

Hopefully whoever was on the receiving end of this reports it to the police as a first step to making sure it doesn’t happen again or full establishing a pattern of behaviour.

Your friend did something wrong. It may well meet the threshold for criminal behaviour. That’s the best thing you can tell them. Or at least explain that he cannot vent or inflict his anger and frustrations on another individual who clearly doesn’t want it.

Also this. He needs to be advised to leave her the heck alone. Stop lying. Stop being manipulative. Just be an adult.

PimpMyFridge · 27/07/2023 11:08

🤣🤣🤣 omg what a knob.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page