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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Feel like my life is shattered

12 replies

Coatimundi · 26/07/2023 04:32

DH of 25 years (!!!!) now claiming that he has been unhappy our entire marriage and I have done absolutely nothing for him. I have moved countries for him, compromised on my career for him, brought up 2 DC mostly on my own since he had a high powered job.. and now I realise what a fool I was.

I feel completely shattered. We have been getting along badly for the last few years but it's like he has had a personality transplant. I realise that this is the script men have when they meet the other woman, but I am 100% he does not have anyone else because he works from home, lets me use his phone and email, etc etc. I think resentment has simply piled up. I am not blameless either but his anger seems ridiculously disproportionate. He is also rewriting history completely.

Now he is refusing to speak to me. It's torture.

OP posts:
Charliebong · 26/07/2023 04:43

I’m so sorry, I remember feeling exactly like this when my husband of 23 years behaved in exactly the same way. Also denied there was OW, said I was crazy to think it, when did he have the opportunity, etc etc.

Of course there WAS someone else, he wasn’t as careful or as clever as he thought he was. I hope this won’t be your situation but just be prepared.

Tilllly · 26/07/2023 04:57

I'm so sorry, what an awful thing for him to say
Has he said what he wants to do? Split, counselling?

Coatimundi · 26/07/2023 04:57

I am financially secure. I have my own money thanks to an inheritance. DC grown though one still at home. I don't want to go into too much detail, but we have had immense stress in the past few years: country moves, serious illness of one DC, and we have both become very snarly and snappy. Forgot how to laugh. I suggested counselling but he has ignored the suggestion. Keeps ranting how I have ruined his life. In the past he has suffered from depression, but now when I suggest going to the GP he just yells more. It's really odd stuff he's bringing up. Things like "In 1998, I asked you to do this, but you did not and that just proves how terrible you are... "

OP posts:
Coatimundi · 26/07/2023 05:03

I can't even remember what happened in 1998, it's so far back. I have asked him to focus on what we can do now to fix things but he says it's too late, the best part of his life is over, and no point talking about it now.

OP posts:
PostOpOp · 26/07/2023 07:34

Whatever is going on in his mind or in the relationship his behaviour is mean. I have done international moves for my "D"H and the sacrifice is hard to imagine if you've not gone through it. Fine when the marriage lasts but rather different when it doesn't, or there are major problems.

You're reeling right now which is entirely normal and expected. But please put your allow yourself time with rational cap on too. There needs to be a behavioural line in the sand past which you're not willing to accept. I'm not sure where it is for you, but as an outsider, this behaviour isn't something you should accept. Incidentally, the attack on you puts you on the back foot, going over your memory, defending yourself and questioning yourself. Stop. Easier said than done, but all the time you're doing those things, you're actually centering his version of everything! This translates into him being in control.

How about using the now rather famous, but useful, "recollections may vary"? Then switch to focus on how you want to be treated and what you want out of the situation, based on the current reality, not how you wish he treated you or how he treated you 25 years ago.

If he hasn't been to a lawyer he likely will. The only reason he won't, when he treats you with such contempt, is because you make home easy for him re running the house and anything related to the adult child at home/illness etc (not sure the details, but I'm guessing you've been the one primarily involved).

You can gain some control back here by going to a lawyer yourself. See what the options for you are and make some decisions. I'm not saying you should divorce - or that you shouldn't - but right now he is controlling everything and you're in shock and upset. You're waiting to see what he does next whilst hoping it will all work out well. It may do. But knowing exactly where you stand through speaking to someone entirely dispassionate can really help clarify things. Luckily you're not financially reliant on him, which is a major plus here!

Maybe there's another way to rebalance things here. I'd certainly not be cooking for him or anything else related to cushioning his living, whether it's doing his laundry or organising the person who does, if you have that level of help at home. Stop facilitating his life when he so clearly doesn't think it counts for anything.

And big, unmumsnetty hugs because this is awful to be going through.

PS I'm assuming that you're living back in the U.K. right now.

Coatimundi · 26/07/2023 09:56

@PostOpOp thank you so much for your long and helpful post.My recollections really do vary!

yes, we do live in the UK now. I am going to make an appointment to meet a lawyer next week.

And yes, I need to draw a line in the sand. I can't allow him to rewrite our whole lives. I barely do much for him at the moment. I work myself, but earn far less.

he is doing a good imitation of a Trappist monk at the moment. If he continues, I am going off to see my mother.

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 26/07/2023 10:00

Yes, get out of the way and leave him to feel sorry for himself, poor hard done by baby. Tell him to piss off if that's what he wants to do.

KitchenSinkLlama · 26/07/2023 10:06

My advice is to write on a piece of paper 'fuck him' and when ever you feel your resolve slipping look at it and add a reason why he is an arse to the paper (I suggest an a4 sheet 😉).

See your lawyer and start planning your new life. I'm pretty sure this isn't a sudden personality change, he has just ramped up to the next stage.

Good luck.

Coatimundi · 26/07/2023 10:14

i am not sure I think "fuck him". I keep thinking about the good times and my last birthday, when he actually bought me something super thoughtful and nice. I feel very confused. It's very hard to think that 25 years has come to this. I am baffled by his behaviour and wish we could just forget the last few years. And yes, I know that is counterproductive. 😥

I really thought that we could spend our fifties travelling, now that the DC are grown and DD is better. We have worked really hard to enjoy life in our sunset years, and now it's all gone poof. I had suggested going away for a holiday but he won't respond because I am "mentally abusive"! I feel really lonely.

OP posts:
Startoftheyear2023 · 26/07/2023 10:20

I am so sorry. I would think he has found someone else. Even if nothing has happened (she may not even have a clue) he's feeling like he has options. Making you feel awful is part of his game plan. Glad you are seeing a lawyer. I had a similar experience after 25 years together. It's really tough but you'll get through it and life continues 💐

gogomoto · 26/07/2023 11:32

Sounds eerily familiar. I'm out the other side, divorced and met someone else. Being told that they had been unhappy since before marrying is just so wrong, why did they marry?

Alex3420 · 26/07/2023 15:13

Get out now while you can. That's the best thing for you and your kids. You don't deserve to live in unhappiness. If you have the funds, you can still go travelling! But this time it'll be fun as you won't be with someone who makes you feel awful. Separate and start living for you and your kids. Your lives will become so much better!
It feels like your life is shattered now but actually your future self will be thanking you for taking this step. It might not feel like it now but you will be so much happier in the future once this relationship is left in the past xx

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